The Inmates Run the Asylum

What is it about me taking a shower that makes my dad suddenly need to run the water in the kitchen? Seriously. Today he had to mop the floor. He couldn't wait until I was done.

I realize that I don't take my shower until around 9:30 in the morning, but I'm a creature of habit. I take my shower at that time Monday through Friday. So, why would you put in a load of laundry at 9:20?

Yes, I realize this is a petty bitch, but considering the man once decided he just HAD to wash a crockpot while I was in the shower AT SIX IN THE MORNING, I think he has a serious neurological problem that demands he turn on the water while I'm in the shower at least once a week.

Yeesh.

( Second rant is TMI )

In less ranting, more pleading news...

I've got three jobs lined up. Aside from The Limited gig (which I'm still waiting for them to call me to go in for my first floorset), I'll be teaching basic Spanish to my homeschooled nieces, and I'll be taking the neighbor's grandson to school two/three days a week. Which is all great. By these forces combined, I'll be able to pay the bills.

Unfortunately, they're not combining soon enough to pay my bills THIS month. I'm scrounging and scraping to make the ends meet and I could really use a few sales to make it all come together.

So if you or anyone you know has some disposable income they'd like to kick my way, I've got jewelry, eBay, and I'll take whatever you want to give me to email you one of my unpublished stories. I don't normally ask for this kind of help, but I could really use any bit of word of mouth and any sale I can get in the next week or two.

Please and thank you.

So Sunday I found a dead body.

Last night, I found out I won two tickets to The Dempster Family Foundation Casino Night. Come May 9th, I am going to be gussied up in my good clothes (hello, little black dress!) and hobnobbing with Cubs players and other Chicago celebrities. I was in such denial that it was real that Carrie pinched me to prove I wasn't dreaming. It took me a good half-hour or so to realize that it wasn't a joke and it was really happening.

Talk about a serious swing in the luck.

This week has been a bizarre one, to be sure.

So my cousin posts on FB that my grandma is in the hospital for the third time. News to me since I only knew of her being in the hospital ONCE this month.

So I text Mom. She says that Grandma had surgery on Monday but she came home Tuesday, but she'd find out. Mom calls me and tells me that yes, Grandma is back in the hospital. Apparently, she stood up too fast today and fell and they're doing a CT scan to make sure everything is okay, but this sort of thing happens after surgeries like this, which confused me because the only surgery I knew that she was going to be having at any point was glaucoma surgery.

So I ask for clarification.

Oh, she didn't have glaucoma surgery on Monday; it was surgery to remove a hematoma from her brain that the doctors think developed after a fall she had in September and worsened after her first stint in ICU just after the first of the year, which caused her arm to go numb and mimic the symptoms of a stroke, but Mom was totally going to tell me eventually. She just hadn't gotten around to it yet and she didn't think it was a big deal.

Also, my Aunt T had surgery Friday to repair a couple of holes in her eardrum and my step-dad broke his tailbone a couple of weeks ago.

So, yes. The loop. Not only am I not in it, I don't know it exists unless I trip over it.

It's been an eventful two days at the day job. You'd think a short week would be easy, but no. Not in this world.

Yesterday, three of our five trucks on the East Coast broke down. Problem, we still had three runs that needed to be done today. Did I mention that one driver took his truck to the shop without telling us and another driver's truck has been broken FOR A WEEK, but he neglected to mention it? Yeah. Like that. Thankfully, they were able to do a quick patch job on one of the trucks and get the guy going.

There was also the small matter of a guy finishing his run early, but taking his time getting back to the yard. Unfortunately, he had a surprise random drug test waiting for him, which put him behind on getting started on his next run. He's going to cut it close making it home tonight.

Then today, one of my favorite drivers, Sonny, was down by St. Louis picking up coils. He was secured the straps on the load, went to get off of the trailer, and fell. An ambulance was called and Sonny told Albert that he thought he dislocated his hip.

With him on his way to the hospital, we had to figure out how to get the coils back. At first it was decided to have Stephen go from his last stop in Indiana to St. Louis because he had a rider, new guy Mark, with him. Mark could drive the coil truck home. It set up huge problems for us for the next week with Stephen's hours of service and whatnot, but it'd get the job done.

However, Mike showed up and it was decided that Chad would drive Mike down to there and he could pick up the coils with no problems. Albert calls Stephen to let him know he can come home and...Stephen's truck is dead.

All of this took place before lunch.

So, a plan was hatched to retrieve Stephen, Mark, and the broken truck with the use of a tow truck. It would take our spare truck out to Indiana and then tow the broken truck home. Stephen and Mark would drive the spare truck home.

Yeah, that was at noon. At three, the tow truck that was supposed to take the guys and the broken truck from the side of the road to a truck stop still hadn't shown up. When I left a little after 4:30, the tow truck was just leaving for Indiana, a little over two hours away. The boys might be getting home right around now.

Also over the course afternoon, we found out that Sonny had broken his hip and was going to have surgery. He's going to be out for a couple of months at least. This led us to scrambling to adjust the runs next week to account for Sonny's absence.

Needless to say, it's been a clusterfuck for the past two days and I really think we all need a three day weekend just to recover from it.

Bleh.

Beer me.

One of the trips I made calls on today only had two stops.

The first place I called, the guy sounded like I caught him in the middle of brushing his teeth.

The second place I called, the guy was British.

Virginia is an interesting place.

Today was questionable at best. I knew it would be when I got to work to find an email from one of my least favorite customers waiting for me.

Between the 20 inches of snow dumped in Wisconsin, the 20 below wind chills in Minnesota, and the no shows at delivery sites, and drivers running late for reasons I was not informed of, the phones rang quite a bit today. I think mine rang more today than it has the entire time I've worked there.

It was a cursed Monday for a lot of people. Albert spilled coffee all over his desk. A water jug leaked all over Shilo's paperwork and she ended up spreading it around her office floor to dry. The metal office's computers went down so Gina and Kent couldn't get anything done for at least an hour.

I wouldn't say it was a bad day, though. At least not for me. It was just a pain in the ass. I think it helps that I'm getting the hang of my job and how things work.

At any rate, I'm hoping tomorrow is an improvement.

Albert got a call from one of our drivers today. Apparently, he'd just passed some cops that had an older woman pulled over on an entrance ramp.

She trying to get on the interstate on her scooter. I'm talking Rascal, not Moped.

I'm guessing that these are the kinds of stories I can expect to hear at work.

I don't know how anyoen can top this one, but I'm sure they will.

I had to go out today to do an errand that I've been putting off because I just couldn't put it off any longer. And, of course, it had to been when the high temperature was 17 degrees. That's what you get for procrastinating.

But, it wasn't too bad. By the time I got home, I was good with getting out of the car without my gloves.

It's weather like this that really brings out the personalities of the people in my town.

Leaving Walmart, I saw a lady bundled up, waddling across the parking lot. For the most part, her coat and hat and gloves matched (red and tan), but she was wearing a lime green scarf. Best part about it? It was wrapped around her neck at least twice and still reached her knees. It was like a knitted anaconda trying to bring her down. It was fantastic.

And then I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt and no coat walking across the parking lot. Clearly, what's chilly to some is balmy to others.

This afternoon I went into the bathroom and found one of my dad's gun books lying open on the floor in front of the toilet. It was opened to the beginning of the J's, so I did pause a moment to wonder just how long of a shit he'd taken. Then I realized this probably doesn't happen in most people's houses.

Then just a little bit ago, I walked into the kitchen to find Dad sitting at the computer with a rifle lying across a box sitting next to the desk. I figured he was either expecting some serious shit to go down or he didn't know how to use the pop-up blocker.

Turns out he was just searching for parts for the gun online.

You see why I don't ask about things? It's not as much fun as not knowing.

In other news, I had a dream last night that I was in school again (oh joy) with a bunch of my old classmates and some people I didn't know. My algebra teacher was teaching some kind of English/Art project that I wasn't paying attention to and neither were a lot of other people. But at one point, a guy I went to school, big, tall guy named Steve, got into the face of another big, tall guy that I vaguely recognized at the time and told the guy that if he left a mark on me (!!!) that he'd have his ass. I ended up separating the two of them.

It was a shocking dream because I've never had anyone in my waking life defend me like that.

Also, I have no idea what Steve was talking about. But still! It was nice that he defended my honor and whatnot.

After going to the Cubs game and staying up way too late, it took me until today to figure out what day it was.

Just in time for Apple and Pork weekend.

Which I will be too broke to enjoy.

Because of the Cubs game.

I feel this week very closely resembles a carousel.