The Inmates Run the Asylum

This afternoon I went into the bathroom and found one of my dad's gun books lying open on the floor in front of the toilet. It was opened to the beginning of the J's, so I did pause a moment to wonder just how long of a shit he'd taken. Then I realized this probably doesn't happen in most people's houses.

Then just a little bit ago, I walked into the kitchen to find Dad sitting at the computer with a rifle lying across a box sitting next to the desk. I figured he was either expecting some serious shit to go down or he didn't know how to use the pop-up blocker.

Turns out he was just searching for parts for the gun online.

You see why I don't ask about things? It's not as much fun as not knowing.

In other news, I had a dream last night that I was in school again (oh joy) with a bunch of my old classmates and some people I didn't know. My algebra teacher was teaching some kind of English/Art project that I wasn't paying attention to and neither were a lot of other people. But at one point, a guy I went to school, big, tall guy named Steve, got into the face of another big, tall guy that I vaguely recognized at the time and told the guy that if he left a mark on me (!!!) that he'd have his ass. I ended up separating the two of them.

It was a shocking dream because I've never had anyone in my waking life defend me like that.

Also, I have no idea what Steve was talking about. But still! It was nice that he defended my honor and whatnot.

Carrie comes into my room.
Carrie: How do you spell "discriminate"?
Me: D-I-S-C-R-I-M-I-N-A-T-E.
Carrie: Thanks.
Carrie leaves. She comes back in about five minutes later.
Carrie: How do you spell "blatantly"?
Me: B-L-A-T-A-N-T-L-Y.
Carrie: Thanks.
Me: Don't you have spellcheck on that computer?
Carrie: Not on ANGEL (for her online English class). And I can't type up the post in Word and then paste it in ANGEL because it messes up the format.
Me: Why don't you type it up in ANGEL, then copy and paste it into Word to check the spelling?
Carrie: Oh, yeah.
Me: Yeah. Then you wouldn't have to running back and forth.
Carrie: I need the exercise.
Me: I don't need the spelling test.

Clearly, I missed my calling. I was born to be a human spellcheck.

I decided to buy a Lotto ticket today. Why not? It's not a huge jackpot, but it's more money than I have. I don't want to be greedy. And I'd put it to good use.

I'm hoping the Universe is listening.

Anyway, I stopped by Big D's, my local drive-thru liquor and milk store (no lie...it's mostly liquor, but it also has the grocery basics...and shirts with the town name on it if you really want to advertise) to pick up my ticket because Big D's has a reputation for selling a lot of winning tickets. The woman who waited on me was old enough to be my grandma (in my family, probably my great-grandma).

She called me ma'am.

I'd say it's official. My days of getting carded are over.

And my eye cream is clearly not working.

I've been having trouble with my sinuses lately and since I don't have the money to go to a doctor, I consulted Dad. I thought I might have a sinus infection, but since I haven't had a sinus infection since, I don't know, junior high maybe (*knockwood*), I needed to consult on what one feels like. Dad gets them more often, so I asked him.

He concluded that it was definitely my sinuses, but probably not an infection, and suggested I take some antihistamine. I did.

I can't remember the last time I took antihistamine, so it came as quite a shock to me when it made me drowsy.

One little antihistamine tab = me sleeping for two hours.

But, I can say that my sinuses didn't bother me for those two hours.

Note to self: Do not take antihistamine when you want to do anything that requires functioning at a higher level than lethargy. It will not work out for you.

Knowing is half the battle and all that.