The Inmates Run the Asylum

I went to the doctor today because I've been having trouble with my throat and some difficulty swallowing for the past two years (don't even start in on me about that; I was broke with no insurance and in that financial state, I stick hard and fast to the idea that it'd be cheaper to bury me than cure me). This is the first time I've been to a doctor in at least ten years, not counting my surgery. Yes. Long overdue. Poor and going to the doctor is frowned upon in my family. We're unhealthy rednecks.

So, I found out a few things on my doctor's visit. First off all, I finally got an accurate weight for the first time in years. 246. My over/under was 240, so I wasn't far off.

Secondly, I was disappointed to find my blood pressure a little high. 141/96. It's not like I'm going to stroke out any time soon, but damn, it kinda bums me to know my blood pressure was better when I was smoking.

As for the throat thing, the doctor thinks it might be gastroesophageal reflux disease. You know, GERD. So I've got to take this over the counter acid control stuff for the next month to see if that doesn't help. He also had me Google it so he wouldn't have to tell me the whole list of foods I'm not supposed to eat, which basically make up most of my diet. He also had me get a blood test to rule out any thyroid problems.

Dad and Carrie have been very amused by this. I'm glad somebody is.

If you need me, I'll be over here pouting.

( Day 165...Still No Internet )

In other news, McGee got into a fight Wednesdy night and got rolled pretty good. She's got a sore spot on her side and broke off a tooth, which Dad had to pull. Dentistry is McGee's least favorite thing and believe me when I say we've done a lot of it on her.

She's feeling better today, though, but she's still milking it for all the treats she can get.

As well she should.

Still no Internet. The company that was supposed to hook us up yesterday couldn't hook us up. Couldn't be done. So, we were left high and dry. We're trying another company now, but there's no word on when (if?) we'll get hooked up.

So, yeah. The bad luck from June continues into July. Terrific.

I've been posting to Twitter via text, so if you want to keep up with my bland daily life (and updates on when I'm getting Interwebs), you can follow me over there. I'm KikiWrites.

In other news, the neighbors were playing music in their garage last night, which usually bugs me because they have questionable taste, but last night, I really enjoyed the selection. Like I told Carrie, they were playing songs that I hadn't heard since college.

Second round of college, to be precise.

When you've been three times over the span of a decade, it's good to pinpoint which round when using it in relation to time. I'm just saying.

( The Internet Saga )
( The Getting a Job Saga )

So that's my world in a nutshell right now. Frustrations and crankiness galore.

I hope you all are well. I miss you terribly. I look forward to the day when we can be together again. /pining

I'm really starting to lose my grip when it comes to my laptop. Nothing has caused me to moodswing so hard since I was crazy ten years ago.

I got it working well enough to backup the files that needed it and yesterday the damn thing worked fine, no problems whatsoever.

Then today I get the blue screen of death, followed by the "no hard drive found" error on start-up. Then it just won't turn on. At all. Lights are on, nobody is home. If my mind was a deadly weapon, the house would have been on fire.

It was my father, the man who does not know how to check his email, that came up with the idea to get it to come on again because the Universe has a really twisted sense of humor.

Now, I'm back to square one (no hard drive found), but at least it's a familiar square.

So while the mood has swung back to functioning without wanting to throw the Tiki Idol threw a wall, I'm still in the "life's not fair and I'm really kinda sick of its bullshit" frame of mind.

Because right now it's the baseline truth of my existence.

Tomorrow, however, might tell a different story. You never know.

I don't know what it is about June that makes my laptop crash and burn, but there you go.

Yeah, the Tiki Idol has crashed again and I'm not very optimistic about its future at this point. Even if it can be saved, I might end up trying to hurl it into space anyway.

So, I'm going to be a little scarce for awhile. I feel that this move is best considering I keep going back and forth between wanting to flip a car and bursting into tears.

In review of the events of the past month or so, I'd say my life is turning into a poorly written country song.

And that's a bitch, folks. That's a bitch.

After a thunderstorm Saturday night, all of the snow (save for the big piles) that we had accumulated since December 26th melted. Sunday, we could actually see grass! Dead grass, but grass just the same.

Monday, it snowed again. Not much. A good inch, inch and a half.

Today, I went out and cleaned off my car and warmed it up.

About four o'clock this afternoon, it started to snow again. There's about an inch on my car again.

The Universe has a sense of humor. I'm just saying.

Looks like the power cord for my laptop, which is now known as Tiki because it's that cursed, is done for. I thought that yesterday, but the Universe proved me wrong. I'd love for the Universe to prove me wrong again today, too.

Also, I ripped a hole in my favorite Vincent Price shirt. My ONLY Vincent Price Shirt. My one-of-a-kind-can't-be-replaced Vincent Price shirt.

Yeah, I think my horror-scope was way off today.

Dad bought me a book today.

Death by Stupidity: The 1001 Most Ridiculous, Bizarre, and Astonishingly Idiotic Ways People Have Kicked the Bucket by David Southwell and Matt Adams.

I've got a feeling that the book I'm currently reading is going to be interrupted in favor of this one.

And since I woke up cranky, the Cubs lost, and it rained on my laundry, it's safe to say that not only is the new book the highlight of my day, but also, I could use the laughs.

Even morbid ones.

The Universe just beat the shit out of me with my own stupidity and I deserved every lick of it.

I don't want to be overly dramatic and I'm leaving room for a sliver of hope, but overall, right now at at this very minute, I feel like I've just wrecked my life.

So, anyone out there looking to savor my defeat and gloat at my misery, now would be the time to do it. I'm leaving comments open just for that purpose.

I'll be over here, licking my wounds.

My spit probably contains arsenic.