The Inmates Run the Asylum

What is it about me taking a shower that makes my dad suddenly need to run the water in the kitchen? Seriously. Today he had to mop the floor. He couldn't wait until I was done.

I realize that I don't take my shower until around 9:30 in the morning, but I'm a creature of habit. I take my shower at that time Monday through Friday. So, why would you put in a load of laundry at 9:20?

Yes, I realize this is a petty bitch, but considering the man once decided he just HAD to wash a crockpot while I was in the shower AT SIX IN THE MORNING, I think he has a serious neurological problem that demands he turn on the water while I'm in the shower at least once a week.

Yeesh.

( Second rant is TMI )

In less ranting, more pleading news...

I've got three jobs lined up. Aside from The Limited gig (which I'm still waiting for them to call me to go in for my first floorset), I'll be teaching basic Spanish to my homeschooled nieces, and I'll be taking the neighbor's grandson to school two/three days a week. Which is all great. By these forces combined, I'll be able to pay the bills.

Unfortunately, they're not combining soon enough to pay my bills THIS month. I'm scrounging and scraping to make the ends meet and I could really use a few sales to make it all come together.

So if you or anyone you know has some disposable income they'd like to kick my way, I've got jewelry, eBay, and I'll take whatever you want to give me to email you one of my unpublished stories. I don't normally ask for this kind of help, but I could really use any bit of word of mouth and any sale I can get in the next week or two.

Please and thank you.

It's really starting to set in that next week will be the last week of a regular paycheck and then I'll be depending on what work DaLette can get me and how well I can sell my jewelry and my self-published book of short stories.

Yeah, I'm terrified.

If this doesn't work, I'll be back in the market for a day job, looking like a fool. It'll be just another in a long list of failures I've committed in my time. It's hard to be a success when you're rather mediocre and not very good at anything.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little anxious because it doesn't feel like a week is going to be enough time to get this show off the ground. The jewelry website should be ready, but the book is going to take a bit longer. I won't be getting any work from DaLette until October, so I've got a whole month to really work on building up the other two projects and getting them going.

I'm still terrified.

This could all work well if I were a different person, but I'm so reluctant to sell myself or anything I do. I feel like I'm being annoying when I try to put myself and my work out there. I'm not as smooth and charming as so many other people I know. Promotion is the key to making this work. Getting the message out to as many people as possible will go a long way to helping this work.

I've got the websites. I've ordered business cards. I plan on setting up pages on Facebook. I plan on using Twitter. If anyone would like to help me spread the word about the jewelry, I'd be happy to send you a freebie along with some business cards to pass out to people you think might be interested. I don't know what kind of deal I could work out on the book yet, but I'll think of something. Any help anyone could offer, I'd be grateful.

I'm doing this.

Yep. Terrified.

I come to you, dear flist, on bended knee asking for help and advice.

My mom was nice enough to let me use her computers and internet while I was without and as such, had to endure my blathering on about the Cubs. Honestly, it was only fair since she was the one who made me a Cubs fan in the first place and I grew up listening to her rant about Paul Assenmacher (you'd think the guy tripped her Grandma or something; even today, if you mention his name, it sets her off).

So, Mom decided to give me an early Christmas present in the form of Cubs tickets, only she couldn't decide what game I wanted to go to, so she's just giving me the money. My excitement lasted until I told my dad, who grunted with disapproval and did not make any comment. This told me two things: 1)my parents will always act like they just got divorced yesterday and 2)Dad doesn't think I deserve to go.

This year has been rough and he's had to help me pay my bills a few times. I don't like asking him for money, but life is full of things I don't like doing and I plan to pay him back at some point (I owe him a lot of money from him helping me out over the years). He doesn't like asking me for money either and even though he didn't say so, I know he thinks that because I asked for money I don't need to be going to Wrigley, even if someone else is paying for it. I know he wants me to use the money to pay my bills (I imagine he wants me to get a "real" job, too, but that's beside this particular point).

Mom gave me money last Christmas to buy clothes. I spent it on bills. In fact, I spent all of my Christmas and birthday money on bills. I haven't been able to afford to do anything big since DragonCon '08. I really want to go to Wrigley. I need to go to Wrigley. I need to get out of my house, get out of my town, and get some happy juices flowing. But, if I go and then have to ask Dad for money again next month (any amount of money, even five bucks), the shit is going to hit the fan.

So I reason the only way I'll be able to go is if I make sure I've got money to pay my bills next month, which means I've got a little less than 3 weeks to come up with about $250. If I can't come up with the cash, then the money Mom is giving me to spend on tickets is going to have to be spent on bills. Again.

This is where you come in, dear flist. No, I'm not asking you for money. I know I'm a rotten and terrible friend, but even I have my limits.

But, I do need help getting the money. I'm already selling stuff on ebay. I'll be putting more action figures up in the next few days (wrestling, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings) as well as some magazines (Wrestlemania collector's issues), if you know anyone who might be interested.

However, that stuff hasn't been selling well lately and I can't guarantee that eBay alone will get me the money that I need.

I've thought about putting up some short stories up for cheap downloads, but honestly, I don't think I've got the promotional skills and popularity to make much money off of it (I'm still willing to give it a try, though; every bit of pocket change helps).

Aside from that, I'm not sure what else I can do. Does anyone have any ideas that don't include prostitution? I say that not because I look down on streetwalking as a distasteful profession, but because, let's face it, hookers work on commission and I've never been good at sales. To be honest, right now I probably couldn't give it away.

So, anybody got any money making ideas or can help me sell my stuff? I'd really appreciate the help. I know everyone else is going through stuff right now and this is really kind of a frivolous thing to ask for, particularly since the mess I'm in is truly a mess of my own making, but it would mean everything if I could go. I swear, I'll be a grown-up responsible adult and get a real job and trudge off into that zombie wasteland of maturity just as soon as I get back from the game.

Please, help this depressed fat girl get to Wrigley Field.

My Papa emailed me today, asking for a Christmas list. I usually don't have to do this until Thanksgiving and this year I was going to actually the time to compose an actual list (I say that every year...it never happens).

Unlike previous years, I know what I want for Christmas. I want books. I need more books. Even though I'm currently reading a Stephen King/Peter Straub novel and have another one waiting in the wings, I need more books.

I've already added a few of my wants to my Amazon wishlist.

Now, here comes the trouble: I need to branch out more from my typcial reads. I'm not nearly as well read as I should be or would like to be (and, frankly, even though I really like to read, I still don't read as much as I should). So I'm looking for recs here, babies.

Rec me some books you think I should read. Nevermind if you'll think I'll like them; rec them because YOU like them. I'm looking to broaden my horizons and Christmas is a great time to do that for free.

The only stipulation I'll place on the recs is NO ROMANCE. If the romance is the subplot, okay. That I have no trouble with. If the romance is the main plot, forget it. I can't hack it. I'm not wired to enjoy that sort of thing. Sorry.

Oh, and don't bother reccing Twilight or any of its sequels. I read the first book. I didn't like it. Reading any of the sequels will not change my mind. Usually, I'll give writers more than one chance to please me, but I just can't do it in this case.

Yes, I fail at being a girl.