The Inmates Run the Asylum

I keep putting off updating because I'm lazy. Here's the high points:

-My first floorset went fine. I felt like an awkward doofus because I had no clue what I was doing and only knew the two people that had interviewed me, but I survived it. My next one is Wednesday.

-Speaking of Wednesday, I had tickets to a Cubs game that night and was going to go with a guy I knew from high school, but had to cancel. There are only three home games before the season ends and I really want to go to one. I might try for the Monday night game instead.

-The complications of going to the Monday night game include having to be up at 6:30 both Monday and Tuesday to get the neighbor up, ready, and to school. The first week of this went fine. The second week he suddenly developed morning diarrhea and spent ages in the bathroom until he was informed that he didn't have a choice and he was going to have to make an attempt to get through school (his grandmother's call). I don't know the kid well enough to know if he's faking, but judging by his grandma, the kid will be going to school unless he's dead. All I know is I don't feel like going through these battles every morning. The pay is good, but not that good.

-If I do want to go to the Monday night game, I've got it all worked out with Mom for the girls' Spanish lessons. At first, they quite liked seeing Aunt Kiki three days a week. Now that they've realized I'm there to learn them up, the charm has worn off. We played review games today that they really liked, so that's good. Some days are better than others.

-The way the Monday game shakes out is such: I'd have to get up at 6:30 and get the boy to school. Come home and nap. Go to Mom's and teach Spanish, leaving by 1:30. Drive to Chicago, do the park and ride to Wrigley, watch the game, park and ride back to the car, drive home. I'd get home between 12:30 and 2 depending when the game ended and I got back to my car. I would then nap and get up at 6:30 in the morning to take the boy to school. I'd then come home and nap that afternoon before floorset. So the question is can my 32 year old self run like my 22 year old self used to? I'm kind of hoping so. We'll see.

-Apple and Pork festival this weekend. Imma get me an apple donut.

The end.

My last day of work was Friday. I made sure to say goodbye to all of the drivers in town (including doubling back to catch Stephen), got a hug from Albert, Kent, and Shilo, and, I admit, shed a few tears on the drive home. I say again, I won't miss the work, but I will miss the people. I was told before I left to come back and visit. I'll be doing that.

Hit the family reunion yesterday. I just stayed long enough to eat and visit with the people I wanted to see before I left. It was kind of weird without Papa there, though they did have a big picture of him over the dessert table, which I found kind of creepy. I don't need a bad picture of my dead grandpa lording over me while I get my piece of cherry pie. I mean it was well meaning, but I still wasn't comfortable with it.

After the reunion, I took the girls to the last Cornbelters game of the season. They got to spend some time in the bouncy houses and get their faces painted before mean Aunt Kiki made them sit in their seats and watch the game. Hammie was actually pretty into the game from the get-go. Hobbit and Howlin' Mad Smurf, not so much. It took a few innings before they caught on to the concept of cheering for the Belters. By the end, they were chanting "Let's Go Corn!" right on cue.

I was disappointed that they wouldn't dance during the dancing inning. How do they not know how to do the YMCA? That's just ridiculous that they're so uneducated in the ways of community dance. However, they redeemed themselves by singing the 7th inning stretch.

I won a signed a jersey and they got their freebie t-shirts signed by the whole team and Corny. They got to run the bases afterwards. In the end, they had a blast and they want to go again next season. Aunt Kiki will only be too happy to take them.

Tomorrow I go back to work for myself. It's going to be weird not waking up at 5:30 to head to the cube. It'll be a few weeks before I start working with DaLette, so I really need to get the book done and the jewelry site rolling as quickly as possible.

I'm back to working for myself and I'm one bitch of a boss.

Today was Hobbit's 7th birthday, so Carrie and I headed up north to celebrate with the girls. We had McDonald's and cupcakes. Hobbit got a new outfit, a new purse, a snowglobe, and Just Dance for Wii.

Naturally, we had to play Just Dance. Carrie wasn't feeling well, so she sat out. (Smurf was very concerned for Carrie's health; she told her to get lots of rest, drink water and orange juice, and keep a bucket next to her bed in case she threw up.) The girls were good. They shook their groove things. Mom did a challenge while sitting on the couch and won. It was hilarious. I had no trouble getting up and making an ass out of myself. I did pretty well. I'd say the girls get their moves from their Aunt Kiki.

Then we played Guitar Hero. I rocked "Walkin' on Sunshine" and "Honky Tonk Women". Smurf does really well on the easy setting because she just makes noises into the mic constantly and ends up with 100%. Hobbit really kicks it with the guitar.

Between playing guitar and dancing, I'm going to be hurting tomorrow.

It was a good birthday for Hobbit, I think. At least she was sweaty and smiling when we left.

That Just Dance is a great game.

Carrie and I went to see the nieces today.

It turns out the phone call I got from Hobbit and Howlin' Mad Smurf yesterday was not sanctioned (and I wasn't the only one; they called several people yesterday) and when they got in trouble, they decided to run away. Mom found them down the block. Needless to say, they got in trouble for THAT, too.

Yep. My mom's got her hands full, to be sure.

Carrie took the two runaways to run errands with her while I stayed at Mom's and beat Hammie at Connect Four repeatedly. She only beat me once. I say that with pride because nobody wants to be beaten by an 8 year old. I then horrified her with tales of the olden days when we didn't have cell phones or Interwebs, so communicating with your friends was much more difficult. You had to talk on a phone that was hooked to a wall or walk to their house, or if you were at school, you had to hand write a note and pass it to them in the hallway. She looked at me like I also slew dinosaurs at recess. Hey, if I'm going to be old, then I'm going to use it to horrify the children.

Hammie has a new cat. He's gray and white and his name is Buddy, which totally messes up Mom's naming theme (they currently have Little Guy, Lillian, Lucky, Libby, Lenny Skinny, and Linus, but also at one time had Lucy, Lexie, and Louis, too). He's a sweetie and very playful. It's been awhile since I've gotten to play with a cat that young.

Carrie and the runaways came home. Everything is very shiny at Hobby Lobby, so it took them forever to get through there. Then they went to Target, where Hobbit and Smurf helped some lady pick out a coat. Hobbit also fell in love with several purses there. She is definitely the girliest of all three.

And then Smurf ended up shoplifting a toothbrush. Carrie put in the cart and Smurf put it in her pocket and forgot to take it out at the checkout. By the time Carrie realized it, it was too to do anything about it. So the girls got a lesson in thievery and Carrie contributed to a deliquency of a minor. Good times.

I told Smurf that between the prank phone calls, running away, and shoplifting, Santa was going to skip the house for years.

I don't know why, but she didn't believe me.

The girls did a good job sleeping over last night. They laid down in their sleeping bags to watch Clue with Pappy and within fifteen minutes of the movie starting everybody was asleep.

Pappy and the girls got up early and went shopping for breakfast. They got waffles, bacon, and sausage. As they are primarily meat eaters, there wasn't a whole lot of sausage or bacon when I got up and none when Carrie got up.

For lunch, we went over to Haley's house for a playdate with Walker and Emma. Emma wasn't too keen on Howlin' Mad Smurf touching her stuff, but they worked it out. Peacefully. And Hobbit, who couldn't stop talking about going to the playdate, clammed up as soon as we walked in the door. It was funny. All of the kids had a good time, though.

We took the girls home and I'm sure they will sleep good tonight. I know I will.

And Hammie had a good time at the TNA show. She told me everybody she saw. And she missed out on getting her picture taken with Jeff Hardy because Mom wouldn't let her take her money to the show and my stepdad didn't have enough money. The absolute indignation in her voice when telling me this was truly fantastic. It's up there with her telling me that So-and-So had to beat down on AJ because he was throwing a tantrum. The eyeroll at the end of that was priceless.

My stepdad said that since she behaved, the next time there's a show nearby, they'll try to go. Yeah, she was looking up the schedule this morning online. I think she might get her love of wrestling from her Aunt Kiki. Heh.

Yeah, good times.

So, unless something comes up, Hobbit and the Smurf, aka Howlin' Mad (because she really is some kind of crazy), are coming here for a sleepover. Hammie will not be joining us as she will be attending a TNA show with my stepdad instead.

They've been planning this with Carrie for weeks now. We're going to eat pizza and watch a movie and Carrie is going to give them makeovers. It's going to be a ripping, girly good time.

And before you ask, no, Aunt Kiki is not participating in the makeovers. I am not qualified to give make-up advice or apply it and I do not need a makeover as I am gorgeous.

Yes, I typed that with a straight face.

Anyway, if all goes well, we're going to meet up with Haley and her two kids for lunch before we take them back on Saturday.

I don't anticipate them having any problems staying the night here, but I'm going to make it very clear before we even leave Mom's house that they have until 9 o'clock to change their minds. I am not driving back to Bloomington at 2 in the morning. It's just not happening.

I suppose if you don't hear from me by Saturday, then you'll know that I didn't survive the sleepover. It's my first one in probably 15 years. I imagine I'm out of shape.

Went up to Mom's today to celebrate Smurf's fifth birthday. She had a Spongebob cake. I swear the icing was four inches thick. And I scraped it all off because I'm not an icing person. Even if I like it, I don't like it that well.

Smurf's been asking for one of those butterfly gardens that they advertise on the TV, so I ordered it for her and it'll be delivered to her house. And until it is, she'll be bugging my mother about where her present is, which is like a present to me.

And to think, I'm considered the good daughter.

Carrie and I had a good time with girls. Smurf got a swingset and my stepdad was out back most of the time putting it together. The girls kept going out to check the progress. They're real whipcrackers.

We played games. There was some serious cheating going on during Old Maid. I blame Carrie as she instigated it. I managed to win a game of Uno, but it was a hollow victory since Hobbit and Smurf quit before we were done.

Then when it was time to go, Smurf tried to make us stay and when we wouldn't she resorted to force. Unfortunately, she's rather small and it was ineffective. She settled for pouting.

I guess it's just as rough being five as it was being four.

So it seems that Hammie, my oldest niece, has been diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. I haven't talked to my mom yet (I heard it from Mimzie), so I don't know all of the specifics. She's only eight, so that's gotta be rough.

Hammie's kind of a diva and a bit of a drama queen. I wonder how she's going to handle testing her blood sugar and getting shots. I imagine there will be whining. She's the most prone to the whining out of all three of the girls.

Speaking of, I wonder how Hobbit and Smurf are reacting to this. I bet they'll want to give Hammie her shots. They're very helpful and hands on children, you know. I doubt they'd want to pass up an opportunity to jab their big sister with a hypodermic needle.

Sure, they live with my mom, but they are my sister's children. I'm just saying.

I'm too tired to liveblog Castle, but I think it's safe to say that Castle will say something amusing, Beckett will verbal smack him, Mom and Alexis will be cute, and Ryan and Esposito will continue to be my favorite duo.

I went to Mom's today to celebrate Hammie's 8th birthday. Mom arranged for me and the three girls to get our nails done (the girls got pedicures and I got a manicure, my first ever) and to go to lunch. It was a great, girly outing with the nieces.

Highlights of the trip include:

Hobbit: *while the girls are waiting for their nails to dry, Hobbit rolls her eyes*
Me: What? What did Hammie do?
Hobbit: She's making faces. She's lost her mind.
Me: She turned eight and lost her mind?
Hobbit: Yeah. Smurf already lost hers.
Me: But she's not eight yet.
Hobbit: She started early.

Hammie: *as we're walking from the mall to the car* My coat smells like buffalo wings.
Me: What?
Hammie: My coat smells like buffalo wings.
Me: Why?
Hammie: I don't know!

*At Applebees*
Smurf: *pointing to a picture of the Beatles* Look! It's Harry Potter!

Smurf: *after taking a bite of her mini-burger* Oh. I want to marry this. (Smurf really liked the burger because at one point she was holding it and stroking the bun and calling it "my precious" like she was Gollum)

In addition to the manicure and lunch, Mom also bought me cupcakes for my birthday tomorrow.

Yes, this was the last day of my twenties. Not a bad way to spend it, really.

My mother called to inform me that Hobbit broke her arm the other day at gymnastics practice. Not flipping or tumbling or anything. Running. She broke her arm running.

Mom then goes on to point out that my sister broke her finger while running and Hammie chipped a bone in her ankle while running. Smurf will have to be wrapped in bubble wrap if she wants to run as it seems to be detrimental to the bone structure for that particular line in our family.

Then mom pointed out that she and I have managed to break ourselves while NOT DOING ANYTHING. She went on to say that if we ran, we'd probably kill ourselves.

Hobbit's cast is pink and because she broke her arm above the elbow, it will have to be replaced in a few weeks with one that hinges so she use her elbow.

She can also walk again. Apparently, Hobbit thought that since she had a cast on her arm she couldn't walk. Mom pointed out that she didn't break her leg, but logic was no use. Hobbit had to figure it out on her own.

Good times.