The Inmates Run the Asylum

So my cousin posts on FB that my grandma is in the hospital for the third time. News to me since I only knew of her being in the hospital ONCE this month.

So I text Mom. She says that Grandma had surgery on Monday but she came home Tuesday, but she'd find out. Mom calls me and tells me that yes, Grandma is back in the hospital. Apparently, she stood up too fast today and fell and they're doing a CT scan to make sure everything is okay, but this sort of thing happens after surgeries like this, which confused me because the only surgery I knew that she was going to be having at any point was glaucoma surgery.

So I ask for clarification.

Oh, she didn't have glaucoma surgery on Monday; it was surgery to remove a hematoma from her brain that the doctors think developed after a fall she had in September and worsened after her first stint in ICU just after the first of the year, which caused her arm to go numb and mimic the symptoms of a stroke, but Mom was totally going to tell me eventually. She just hadn't gotten around to it yet and she didn't think it was a big deal.

Also, my Aunt T had surgery Friday to repair a couple of holes in her eardrum and my step-dad broke his tailbone a couple of weeks ago.

So, yes. The loop. Not only am I not in it, I don't know it exists unless I trip over it.

Since the weather prevented me from going up to my mom's house yesterday for Hammie's birthday, I went up today for mine. I also took up the Christmas presents from Dad's side of the family in addition to Hammie's birthday present, so it was a present extravaganza!

Actually, it was more like a Barbie convention. They got a lot of Barbies.

They also got a charades game that was an absolute riot to play. Every charade that Hobbit did involved some vague gesture with her arm. She also interpreted Mom miming driving a car as milking a cow. It was fantastic. Hammie was a bit stilted at first, but once she got the hang of being more animated, she got really good at it.

Hammie got a guitar for her birthday, so there was plenty of music. Howlin' Mad Smurf was very excited about me getting my cake and my present (I got money).

I guess for Mom took the girls shopping to pick out presents for Hammie's birthday and when Mom asked Smurf what she wanted to give Hammie, she said a punch in the stomach. Apparently, she really did give her a punch in the stomach, too. When Smurf said she wanted to give me my birthday present, I asked her if it was a punch in the stomach because I didn't want that. She acted all offended. I don't know why.

After the birthday celebration, I came home to join Carrie for a haircut. We're both loooong overdue (as usual). We ended up going to a new lady, Tammy, and she did a fantastic job. I'll have to post pictures after I decided what I'm going to do with this new style. I prefer my hair a little more punk rock then the way she ended up styling it, but it's still nice. And short. And my bangs are finally out of my eyes.

I could never have Justin Beiber hair.

Carrie ended up ordering pizza for dinner so I didn't have to cook.

All in all, it's been a fantastic birthday. I have a feeling that being 30 Bonus Year is going to be excellent.

I come to you, dear flist, on bended knee asking for help and advice.

My mom was nice enough to let me use her computers and internet while I was without and as such, had to endure my blathering on about the Cubs. Honestly, it was only fair since she was the one who made me a Cubs fan in the first place and I grew up listening to her rant about Paul Assenmacher (you'd think the guy tripped her Grandma or something; even today, if you mention his name, it sets her off).

So, Mom decided to give me an early Christmas present in the form of Cubs tickets, only she couldn't decide what game I wanted to go to, so she's just giving me the money. My excitement lasted until I told my dad, who grunted with disapproval and did not make any comment. This told me two things: 1)my parents will always act like they just got divorced yesterday and 2)Dad doesn't think I deserve to go.

This year has been rough and he's had to help me pay my bills a few times. I don't like asking him for money, but life is full of things I don't like doing and I plan to pay him back at some point (I owe him a lot of money from him helping me out over the years). He doesn't like asking me for money either and even though he didn't say so, I know he thinks that because I asked for money I don't need to be going to Wrigley, even if someone else is paying for it. I know he wants me to use the money to pay my bills (I imagine he wants me to get a "real" job, too, but that's beside this particular point).

Mom gave me money last Christmas to buy clothes. I spent it on bills. In fact, I spent all of my Christmas and birthday money on bills. I haven't been able to afford to do anything big since DragonCon '08. I really want to go to Wrigley. I need to go to Wrigley. I need to get out of my house, get out of my town, and get some happy juices flowing. But, if I go and then have to ask Dad for money again next month (any amount of money, even five bucks), the shit is going to hit the fan.

So I reason the only way I'll be able to go is if I make sure I've got money to pay my bills next month, which means I've got a little less than 3 weeks to come up with about $250. If I can't come up with the cash, then the money Mom is giving me to spend on tickets is going to have to be spent on bills. Again.

This is where you come in, dear flist. No, I'm not asking you for money. I know I'm a rotten and terrible friend, but even I have my limits.

But, I do need help getting the money. I'm already selling stuff on ebay. I'll be putting more action figures up in the next few days (wrestling, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings) as well as some magazines (Wrestlemania collector's issues), if you know anyone who might be interested.

However, that stuff hasn't been selling well lately and I can't guarantee that eBay alone will get me the money that I need.

I've thought about putting up some short stories up for cheap downloads, but honestly, I don't think I've got the promotional skills and popularity to make much money off of it (I'm still willing to give it a try, though; every bit of pocket change helps).

Aside from that, I'm not sure what else I can do. Does anyone have any ideas that don't include prostitution? I say that not because I look down on streetwalking as a distasteful profession, but because, let's face it, hookers work on commission and I've never been good at sales. To be honest, right now I probably couldn't give it away.

So, anybody got any money making ideas or can help me sell my stuff? I'd really appreciate the help. I know everyone else is going through stuff right now and this is really kind of a frivolous thing to ask for, particularly since the mess I'm in is truly a mess of my own making, but it would mean everything if I could go. I swear, I'll be a grown-up responsible adult and get a real job and trudge off into that zombie wasteland of maturity just as soon as I get back from the game.

Please, help this depressed fat girl get to Wrigley Field.

Whether your kids have two legs or four, I hope you have a fantastic day today, moms. :D

I sent my mom a card and posted on her wall on Facebook. That's all that's required of me for Mother's Day. I show my appreciation by not bugging her on her holy day. Heh.

Since my daughterly duties have been fulfilled, I'm going to spend my afternoon watching The Golden Girls marathon.

It beats watching the Cubs lose again.

Went to Mom's house for my first Christmas. Carrie got to meet my grandparents (Mom's dad and stepmom) for the first time. We ate homemade pizza and chatted.

We opened presents. The girls scored big time, as they always do. Carrie got them a box of ten games and I'm pretty sure we played them all at least once before we left.

My grandparents always give my sister and I an assortment of little things that leave us wondering. It always ranges from pretty cool to...something religious. This year we both got a book (my sister called to ask if I got one, too...they mailed her presents before they left to come down for Christmas). Dying the Jesus way. That's not what it's called, but it is about the afterlife. I think. That's what I'm getting from the summary on the back.

The cool thing I got this year (aside from the Kohl's gift card that I get every year) are these little Hawaiian shirt post-it notes. They make me think of Sam from Burn Notice. They're awesome.

Mom, Mark, and the nieces got me a shirt that says "Careful! Or you'll end up in my novel". I love shirts that are both threatening AND apply to my line of work. It's a perfect combo. It multitasks in a way that I only wish I could.

All in all, we had a good time. One Christmas down and one to go and it's not until Christmas Day.

I'm planning on making Christmas Eve my day of rest. I rarely get a moment to breathe when the Christmases start. I'm making the most of having a whole day.

I may not even put on real pants. We'll see.

Went to Mom's today to drop off her copies of the anthology my story is in. Had a good time visiting with her and the nieces and the stepdad. Two of the three children had pants on. That's a pretty good turnout for a home visit.

The highlight of the day was watching the Balloon Boy coverage with the girls. All it warrented from Hammie was an eye roll because she's seven going on seventeen and playing some fashion game on the computer is way more interesting.

Smurf, however, was absolutely outraged. "What is he doing up there? Where is he going? He's not supposed to be up there!" Which is funny considering how many rules she bends, breaks, ignores.

When the balloon landed and it was discovered that no one was in it, Hobbit just sighed and said, "Well, he's going to be in trouble. Can we watch something else? This is boring." 'Cause she's forty and has no time for such silliness.

I love those kids. I really do. Because they all act that way, but I know every single one of those little shits would go joyriding in a balloon without a second thought.

Or even more likely, release said balloon in an attempt to frame one of their sisters and get them into trouble.

Yes, the DNA is that wicked and it does not dilute.