The Inmates Run the Asylum

Carrie and I went to see the nieces today.

It turns out the phone call I got from Hobbit and Howlin' Mad Smurf yesterday was not sanctioned (and I wasn't the only one; they called several people yesterday) and when they got in trouble, they decided to run away. Mom found them down the block. Needless to say, they got in trouble for THAT, too.

Yep. My mom's got her hands full, to be sure.

Carrie took the two runaways to run errands with her while I stayed at Mom's and beat Hammie at Connect Four repeatedly. She only beat me once. I say that with pride because nobody wants to be beaten by an 8 year old. I then horrified her with tales of the olden days when we didn't have cell phones or Interwebs, so communicating with your friends was much more difficult. You had to talk on a phone that was hooked to a wall or walk to their house, or if you were at school, you had to hand write a note and pass it to them in the hallway. She looked at me like I also slew dinosaurs at recess. Hey, if I'm going to be old, then I'm going to use it to horrify the children.

Hammie has a new cat. He's gray and white and his name is Buddy, which totally messes up Mom's naming theme (they currently have Little Guy, Lillian, Lucky, Libby, Lenny Skinny, and Linus, but also at one time had Lucy, Lexie, and Louis, too). He's a sweetie and very playful. It's been awhile since I've gotten to play with a cat that young.

Carrie and the runaways came home. Everything is very shiny at Hobby Lobby, so it took them forever to get through there. Then they went to Target, where Hobbit and Smurf helped some lady pick out a coat. Hobbit also fell in love with several purses there. She is definitely the girliest of all three.

And then Smurf ended up shoplifting a toothbrush. Carrie put in the cart and Smurf put it in her pocket and forgot to take it out at the checkout. By the time Carrie realized it, it was too to do anything about it. So the girls got a lesson in thievery and Carrie contributed to a deliquency of a minor. Good times.

I told Smurf that between the prank phone calls, running away, and shoplifting, Santa was going to skip the house for years.

I don't know why, but she didn't believe me.

I should probably post when I first think of something to post instead of procrastinating which leads me to forgetting what I was going to post and then I spend another hour or two trying to remember what I wanted to post.

It doesn't help that I was up waaay too late last night watching Carrie be unintentionally offensive with hilarious results. The lack of sleep and the sore ribs from giggling aren't helping me think.

And I don't need more handicaps in that area.

I know I'm not the first to post this and I know I'm not the hub of popularity, but just in case someone out there has missed it, I want to make sure they are informed.

Smell like a monster.

Educate yourself!

Maybe I've watched this like six or ten times in the past few hours.

Maybe you shouldn't judge.

I'm just saying.

I decided to buy a Lotto ticket today. Why not? It's not a huge jackpot, but it's more money than I have. I don't want to be greedy. And I'd put it to good use.

I'm hoping the Universe is listening.

Anyway, I stopped by Big D's, my local drive-thru liquor and milk store (no lie...it's mostly liquor, but it also has the grocery basics...and shirts with the town name on it if you really want to advertise) to pick up my ticket because Big D's has a reputation for selling a lot of winning tickets. The woman who waited on me was old enough to be my grandma (in my family, probably my great-grandma).

She called me ma'am.

I'd say it's official. My days of getting carded are over.

And my eye cream is clearly not working.

The sleepover has been going well so far. Howlin' Mad Smurf got in trouble for being hateful early on by Pappy, but recovered in time to go out and get sprayed with the hose.

They've wrestled with Pappy, played in the hose, eaten "THE BEST PIZZA EVER", watched Murder By Death, taken pictures on my camera (I'll find out what of when I look at it), weeded the yard, played with pill bugs, walked on Pappy's back, gotten makeovers, drug out all of my stuffed animals, read some magazines and one of my books, pretended to be grandmas by playing with Pappy's walking sticks, played chess, played cards, and played ball in the house.

Right now, they're sprawled out on their sleeping bags, watching Alice in Wonderland. In theory. They're talking too much to really hear it.

I have a feeling that it won't be too hard to get them to go to sleep. They've had a busy day so far.

My dad got a blanket for Christmas that he put on his "bed" (Dad sleeps on a sleeping bag on the living room floor...yes, he has a bedroom...no, I don't know). It's a really nice, soft, fuzzy thing that depicts a deer in the forest.

McGee is particularly fond of this blanket and likes to sleep on it. However, she blends in with it to the point that unless you see her pink collar, you don't know she's there. Dad's accidentally sat on her a couple of times because he couldn't see her.

Just now he asked where she went because he couldn't see her laying on the blanket. I told him to look for the collar. It took him a second, but he found her.

The military should be jealous of such excellent camo. I'm just saying.

Carrie's been working very hard this week redecorating her room. I'll give her credit. She decided what she wanted to do and damn straight she's done it and done most of it on her own. Busted her ass, too.

I've helped her out a little bit (I painted a couple of tables for her and helped her move her bed a couple of times), but I figured the least I could do was take over her chore of doing the dishes so she could get more done. Last night, Carrie was trying to finish up all of the painting and she wasn't going to stop until she got the room done, so I washed the dishes again.

Now, the water is shallow and despite the soap, I can see the stuff in the water and I can see my favorite chopping knife in there. I've never cut myself washing dishes before (that I can remember, anyway) and I'm not worried about it now because I can see where the knife is. I reach in to get the spatula and I swear the knife slid over and cut me on purpose. I know the water can distort perception, but not that much. It's like it knew. It's like it laid there on the bottom and said, "Okay, tonight, she bleeds."

And boy did I, but thankfully, not for very long. Upon inspection this morning, it looks nasty and it bled a little more in my sleep, but it looks like it'll heal okay, though I might end up with a scar. That'll make two unintentional, self-inflicted knife wound scars on my fingers.

Carrie's finishing up her room today. I helped her carry two shelving units in their boxes up the stairs. Now, there are several people who can attest to the craziness of my stairs. They are not normal stairs, so carrying things up them can be harrowing indeed. Carrie and I managed, however, to do it without serious injury. I admit, I did smash two of my fingers a little, but not the finger that I cut last night, bashed my knee on the step, nearly lost my balance and fell backward, and I don't think any of this helped Carrie's aching back and we might have added to the awesome bruise collection she's got going on her legs, but there were no tears or hospital trips, so I'm calling it a win.

Her room is going to look awesome when she gets it all put together. I hope she's proud of herself because I know I am.

I've been invited to go to a BBQ that being held at a trailer and the main course is going to be squirrel.

Sounds like a Jeff Foxworthy joke waiting to happen, doesn't it?

That's my world.

They should really show curling on the TV more often.

Not only do I like having it on in the afternoons while I'm working, but Dad and McGee like watching it, too.

Though sometimes McGee tries to help out by slapping the stones.

So far she hasn't scored any points.