- 1st
- 10:32 pm
You can't call me a squirrel. I'm not burying them in the yard.
- 5 comments
10:52 pmI kicked a banana in your bathroom because I'm cool like that.
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- 2nd
- 10:58 pm
This is why I shut the door when I sleep
- 9 comments
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- 3rd
- 09:46 pm
Whose pickle is this?
- 2 comments
- 4th
- 09:40 pm
I wish I knew what I was thinking.
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- 5th
- 09:59 pm
"I've seen that face before, I've seen that face before, I've faced that scene before."
- 3 comments
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- 6th
- 11:19 pm
I don't think my sister realized the consequences of creating this dish
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- 7th
- 11:29 pm
Place your bets!
- 2 comments
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- 8th
- 10:54 pm
Tornado warning? Must be March.
- 2 comments
- 9th
- 10:45 pm
Could this be the beginning of a Monday night ritual?
- 3 comments
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- 10th
- 10:02 pm
It's either a sign of the end of times or spring has arrived
- 2 comments
- 11th
- 09:55 pm
Is that English or did everyone learn Portugese without me?
- 2 comments
- 12th
- 11:27 pm
Fast food?
- 13th
- 04:57 pm
No such thing as out of the ordinary around here
- 4 comments
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- 14th
- 11:59 pm
Two minutes in the box...you feel shame
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- 15th
- 11:58 pm
Today was a day not worth noting
- 16th
- 11:21 pm
"Because your mother and I decided that if anyone was going to screw you up, it was going to be me."
- 2 comments
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- 17th
- 10:14 pm
Maybe I should have used green ink
- 4 comments
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- 18th
- 10:38 pm
FYI
- 19th
- 11:16 pm
It says the ideal brain age is 20. I didn't know shit at 20.
- 4 comments
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- 20th
- 10:41 pm
Because I love to talk about me
- 7 comments
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- 21st
- 10:38 pm
The bats were out last night
- 4 comments
- 22nd
- 10:47 pm
I am the keeper of unwanted lipgloss
- 6 comments
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- 23rd
- 10:39 pm
I'm dedicating my Monday nights
- 3 comments
- 24th
- 10:41 pm
I expect this to be part of my refund
- 3 comments
- 25th
- 10:50 pm
"Pink and purple sprinkles?" "Yes. They're drag queen sprinkles."
- 2 comments
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- 26th
- 10:10 pm
Maybe the Easter Bunny has something to do with it
- 7 comments
- 27th
- 11:06 pm
MInd the Spring Albino Brain Chiggers
- 28th
- 11:19 pm
I was so baffled that the mom from "Webster" was in this movie
- 3 comments
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- 29th
- 10:13 pm
I'm sure there are more comfortable places to sleep
- 11 comments
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- 30th
- 10:58 pm
I'm gonna have to get me some icons if I keep this up
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- 31st
- 10:11 pm
How delightfully random!
- 2 comments