You can't take me anywhere. No, really.
Jul. 31st, 2009 10:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whiski_sourCarrie had to go to the hospital today.
Carrie's been having problems in the naughty bits region for a few months now. The past few days she's been hurting and last night she came to me about going to the Emergency Room. Except she wasn't sure she wanted to go right then, at midnight, or wait until today.
And she drove me crazy wavering about it. I wasn't going to make the decision because it's not my body, I can't tell how urgent it is to see a doctor. Plus, I was tired and that makes my no-nonesense even more no-nonsenser. I told her that if she was wanted to shave her legs before she went to the ER (no, really, she said that), then she could wait until daylight.
So, we went today. After the explanations and the paperwork, we were shown to a room and Carrie was asked more questions and instructed to pee in a cup. I told her I was sitting that one out.
She come back in and we debate whether or not she peed enough.
Carrie said she liked the color of blue on the wall and I pointed out that we were both wearing blue shirts so it looked like we dressed to match not only each other, but also the room.
Then the doctor comes in.
Doctor: *very pleasant* Hi. How are you today?
Me: *laughing* Uh, she's in an EMERGENCY ROOM.
Doctor: *laughs* Trust me, with the day I've had, that doesn't mean anything.
He was a good guy, very nice. He explained to Carrie that he thought he knew what was wrong, that there was nothing he could do about it, and that he could do a pelvic exam, but it would only confirm the diagnosis. Carrie agreed to it.
So the nurse comes in, gives Carrie a gown, and leaves.
Carrie: Do you think I should leave my shoes on?
Me: It's a pelvic exam. I don't think you need your shoes for this.
Now Carrie had to get back on the exam table, in pain, and trying to keep the back of the gown closed. I told her that they were going come in and yell at us for all the giggling.
Then the nurse comes in and starts prepping stuff for the pelvic exam, pulling out a sterile-sealed, plastic speculum from a drawer full of them and attaching a penlight to it. Carrie's starting to get nervous. I'm starting to get a bad case of the giggles, so much ridiculous shit going through my head. Look, I laughed through my own pelvic exam. You can't expect me to keep a straight face through someone else's.
The nurse leaves and I inform Carrie of said ridiculous shit and she starts giggling. Hey, it settled her nerves a little.
The doctor and nurse comes back in and the pelvic exam begins. The doctor is really good about it, telling Carrie everything he's doing, but it's still really painful for Carrie. And then...
Doctor: Okay, now I'm going to ask you to do something strange.
Carrie: O_o
Me: What the hell?!
And that's when I lost my battle with the giggles. Even Carrie, in pain, with tears in her eyes, started laughing. Turns out he just wanted her to cough, but, really, you can't say you want someone to do something strange when they're already stripped from the waist down with their legs up in stirrups and their business splayed to a some guy they just met. The mind doesn't immediately go to coughing.
The pelvic exam confirmed his initial impression. Carrie's got a prolapsed bladder. She'll have to see an OB/GYN for all her options, but she's feeling a lot better now knowing what's wrong and what she can do about it, even though she's still in some pain.
So, as Carrie got dressed...
Me: You should have brought your bigger purse.
Carrie: Why?
Me: There's a whole bunch of speculums in that drawer. We could take some home.
Carrie: And go into business for ourselves.
My witch's cackle echoed all the way down the hallway, I'm sure.
Carrie got her prescription for some antibiotics (she's got a slight UTI as well), signed the discharge paperwork, thanked the ER staff (who really were good to her), and went to Taco Bell to celebrate that it wasn't anything serious.
I'm pretty sure that's the most giggling and laughing those people have heard in an exam room for a long time.
At least I hope it is.
Carrie's been having problems in the naughty bits region for a few months now. The past few days she's been hurting and last night she came to me about going to the Emergency Room. Except she wasn't sure she wanted to go right then, at midnight, or wait until today.
And she drove me crazy wavering about it. I wasn't going to make the decision because it's not my body, I can't tell how urgent it is to see a doctor. Plus, I was tired and that makes my no-nonesense even more no-nonsenser. I told her that if she was wanted to shave her legs before she went to the ER (no, really, she said that), then she could wait until daylight.
So, we went today. After the explanations and the paperwork, we were shown to a room and Carrie was asked more questions and instructed to pee in a cup. I told her I was sitting that one out.
She come back in and we debate whether or not she peed enough.
Carrie said she liked the color of blue on the wall and I pointed out that we were both wearing blue shirts so it looked like we dressed to match not only each other, but also the room.
Then the doctor comes in.
Doctor: *very pleasant* Hi. How are you today?
Me: *laughing* Uh, she's in an EMERGENCY ROOM.
Doctor: *laughs* Trust me, with the day I've had, that doesn't mean anything.
He was a good guy, very nice. He explained to Carrie that he thought he knew what was wrong, that there was nothing he could do about it, and that he could do a pelvic exam, but it would only confirm the diagnosis. Carrie agreed to it.
So the nurse comes in, gives Carrie a gown, and leaves.
Carrie: Do you think I should leave my shoes on?
Me: It's a pelvic exam. I don't think you need your shoes for this.
Now Carrie had to get back on the exam table, in pain, and trying to keep the back of the gown closed. I told her that they were going come in and yell at us for all the giggling.
Then the nurse comes in and starts prepping stuff for the pelvic exam, pulling out a sterile-sealed, plastic speculum from a drawer full of them and attaching a penlight to it. Carrie's starting to get nervous. I'm starting to get a bad case of the giggles, so much ridiculous shit going through my head. Look, I laughed through my own pelvic exam. You can't expect me to keep a straight face through someone else's.
The nurse leaves and I inform Carrie of said ridiculous shit and she starts giggling. Hey, it settled her nerves a little.
The doctor and nurse comes back in and the pelvic exam begins. The doctor is really good about it, telling Carrie everything he's doing, but it's still really painful for Carrie. And then...
Doctor: Okay, now I'm going to ask you to do something strange.
Carrie: O_o
Me: What the hell?!
And that's when I lost my battle with the giggles. Even Carrie, in pain, with tears in her eyes, started laughing. Turns out he just wanted her to cough, but, really, you can't say you want someone to do something strange when they're already stripped from the waist down with their legs up in stirrups and their business splayed to a some guy they just met. The mind doesn't immediately go to coughing.
The pelvic exam confirmed his initial impression. Carrie's got a prolapsed bladder. She'll have to see an OB/GYN for all her options, but she's feeling a lot better now knowing what's wrong and what she can do about it, even though she's still in some pain.
So, as Carrie got dressed...
Me: You should have brought your bigger purse.
Carrie: Why?
Me: There's a whole bunch of speculums in that drawer. We could take some home.
Carrie: And go into business for ourselves.
My witch's cackle echoed all the way down the hallway, I'm sure.
Carrie got her prescription for some antibiotics (she's got a slight UTI as well), signed the discharge paperwork, thanked the ER staff (who really were good to her), and went to Taco Bell to celebrate that it wasn't anything serious.
I'm pretty sure that's the most giggling and laughing those people have heard in an exam room for a long time.
At least I hope it is.
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no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 03:40 am (UTC)I am really glad it was nothing serious, though. I hope everything works out all right with the OB/GYN. I can't imagine what having a prolapsed bladder must be like. >__<
no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 04:52 am (UTC)Carrie says that having a prolapsed bladder is like sitting on a too-small bicycle seat all the time, only with a little more pain. I'm going to take her word for it, because I don't want to find out.
The giggling helps the pain, though. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 03:48 am (UTC)Ya'll sound like my mom and I most times I've ended up in the ER.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 04:58 am (UTC)Well, I figure if you're going to be there, you might as well have a good time. Why feel worse than you already do?
no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 04:06 am (UTC)Reminds of sitting with Brandon in the ER for 8 hours. I think they were ready to kick us out we were cracking so many jokes and acting out scenes from ER.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 05:01 am (UTC)We never got to the point that they wanted to kick us out, but we got several boggled looks when we left.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 07:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 07:32 pm (UTC)Really, how can you not laugh at the "something strange" thing in that situation? It was just absurd.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 08:42 am (UTC)Me: You should have brought your bigger purse.
Carrie: Why?
Me: There's a whole bunch of speculums in that drawer. We could take some home.
Carrie: And go into business for ourselves.
*DIES* <3 <3 you both.
FEEL BETTER CARRIE!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 07:33 pm (UTC)I think we would have done a rather brisk at home business. LOL
no subject
Date: 2009-08-04 02:00 am (UTC)HAH THIS <3