whiski_sour | The Wal-Mart weight loss plan

I decided to buy some new pants for work yesterday after my shift ended. Walked over to the fat people clothes, rifled through the black jeans, found a pair with a 22W sticker on them, and checked out.

Now this, perhaps, is my downfall. I do not shop in depth. I don't look for tags if they've got stickers. I don't try things on.

So when I put on my new pants this morning, I found them to be tight. Not that I couldn't get them zipped up or anything, but they're tight. Like, pushing my fat around tight. I'm like "WTF?" They're by the same company that made my other work pants, which are, honestly, a little big, so what gives? The sticker said 22FATASS!

I look at the tag. 18W.

My eyeballs bulge out of my head, not out of lack of oxygen from a tight waist, but from shock. I just put my ass in an 18 and they're zipped up and just a bit tight. Do you realize how long it's been since I've worn an 18? Holy hell.

While I will be buying a larger size after work today, I am wearing these fuckers. I may regret it, but, dammit, my ass is smaller and that's something to celebrate.

My own little victory.