whiski_sour | Ah yes...family

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

I'm fucking tired. All I want to do is lie down and I can't since it's like eight now and that will beyond fuck me up. I know I have mucho shit to work on, but I'm just not motivated at this point. I think I'm just gonna put all the writing I have to do off until tomorrow after some sleep. It's supposed to storm all day tomorrow anyway, so may as well spend the day indoors on the computer tempting fate.

Like I said before, the family visit was good. I don't know when was the last time I saw my Aunt Mary-Ann and Patty. Ten years at least is probably a safe guess. It's been a long time. I managed a couple of quiet moments with each of them to talk a little bit. Showed Patty one of my drawings that Mummy has hanging on the wall. She said she really likes it. Just played a bit of catch up with Mary-Ann while we were both out on the deck having a cigarette.

When Mary-Ann and Patty left, Patty gave me a hug and told me I was beautiful. My grandmother, of course, had to comment on that, saying not to lie to me. *rolls eyes* Your veiled insults have no affect on me, you vodka-embalmed old bat. I love you, but my self esteem has little to do with your clever little barbs, okay? Save your breath. One day, you're gonna need it.

My Uncle John seemed a bit more distant this time around. I know he took my cousin Jamie's death hard and his wife's death last year even harder. Instead of condemning him for drinking too much like everyone else does, I'm really worried about him. It's hard to lose someone you love, but it's even harder to do it in this family because you'll never get any emotional support from anyone. When the funeral's over, that's when it all ends. Just...Judas people. Stop salvating over everyone's failings.

Oh, yeah. That's a big topic of discussion for family get togethers on Mummy's side. Whose kids are the worst. At the moment, I think only me and Alex are still in the "good" column. Everyone else has been condemned in some form or another. And, I still can't figure out why I'm still good. Hell, I'm an unemployed, unmotivated, unambitious, fat, ugly, loud-mouthed bitch. I guess since I've never been arrested, set anyone's hair on fire, been put on any kind of medication for mental disorders, been spoiled, or am one of Aunt Theresa's kids, I'm okay.

It's just incredible listing to these people sometimes.

I feel sorry for Alex. She's a sensitive child, as I was at her age. Hopefully, she'll develope her thick skin quickly so she can tolerate all this shit. She's lost her mother and her sister and she has to put up with the constant witty remarks various members of the family throw at her. Judas, these people can be insensitive.

Now, from all that, can you deduce why the visit was a good one? Probably not. Unfortunately, this is just one of those things no one will ever fully understand because I seriously think there's something in our DNA that translates all this shit into something better than what it really is.

*shakes head* These are my people.