whiski_sour | It just doesn't end

Mummy called me back to ask me to babysit tomorrow before my interview because she has to go to Walmart and pick some stuff up for Hobbit.

Mummy: Hopefully I'll be ready before you get here. I've never had to get ready with two kids before.
Me:...
Mummy: I mean, it's been a long time since I had to do that.

Yeah, long time. It's been about eight years since you shut down the daycare and then you were getting ready with EIGHT kids. TWO must be a damn nightmare. Really.

Then she proceeds to tell me that she "backed the wrong kid" and how she's glad I'm not a disappointment.

Me: Mummy, I've got no job and never finished college. How is that not a disappointment?
Mummy: Why didn't you finish college?
Me: *bogglepause* Because I CAN'T AFFORD IT! My parents wouldn't pay for my education, remember?
Mummy: Oh. Well, if I had the money, I'd send you to school. But, I'm sure you're going to get this job and then you'll go back to school and it'll be good. I have faith.
Me: I'm sure you do, Ma.

And, the gem of them all...

Mummy: Is it possible for me to love your sister's kids more than she does?
Me: I dunno.
Mummy: Is it possible for YOU to love your sister's kids more than she does?
Me: I know it's possible for YOU to love my sister's kids more than you love your own.
Mummy: *briefpause* Well, you didn't answer my question.
Me: I don't fucking know. I love any kid that isn't mine.
Mummy: Well, I think at this point I love a stranger's dog more than I love Mimzie right now.
Me: I'm sure that won't last.

Judas, the woman is sucking all of the amusement out of this.

Sorry, Mummy, not going to feel sorry for you. You brought this on yourself. Get what you pay for and all that. And, while I appreciate the sudden faith you have me, I've managed to make it this far without it, so I'm good. Thanks.

*headdesk*

Evidently, we went just a little too long without any drama and now we must play it up for all it's worth. Damn.