And, then it ends
Apr. 7th, 2004 11:09 pmDad came home from work about three hours late tonight. I could tell by the way he was acting something wasn't right. I mean, I was laying on the floor and he didn't try to kick me in the face or anything.
So, he tells me he called Grandma today to check up on Papa. Says he's doing better. Then he tells me that Grandma has cancer. It's pretty far spread and because of that, she's decided not to do anything about it. So, she's gonna die.
Not tomorrow or anything. But, not in thirty years like I would have hoped either. *shrugs* I dunno. She seems to be taking it all pretty well. Dad not so much. Papa, probably not so much either.
I've got the fun task of telling my sister tomorrow. Unfortunately, my mother will be there as well and we all know how incredibly sympathetic that woman is.
I feel like someone's taken the wind out of my sails. Like I'm trying to psych myself up to run the most grueling obsticle race and I just can't do it. I feel like an incredible weight has just been placed on my shoulders. I feel tired. I have a feeling that this is going to be a true test of my strength.
I'm just gonna have to make the best of the time I've got left with her and not think too much about the what ifs and the could haves. Cram in a few more memories before time's up, ya know? Kinda sucks when I put it that way, but that's about how it is.
Hope for the best while preparing for the worst and all that.
No clue if I'm gonna brave AIM tonight. May just take a shower and go to bed. I gotta get up and go to Mummy's tomorrow. I'm supposed to have lunch with her and Mimzie and my nieces and pick up some pictures and a shirt my sister borrowed.
*sighs* Fuck.
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Date: 2004-04-07 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-04-07 10:50 pm (UTC)I am SO SO SO SORRY sweety!!
I should have checked my flist before chatting with you..there I was going on and on about nothing!
Im REALLY sorry....do you still want me to come for the visit? I can postpone it if you want. Just let me know ok..
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Date: 2004-04-08 08:15 am (UTC)And, yes, I still want you to come out for a visit. Please, please, please do.
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Date: 2004-04-09 02:04 am (UTC)I'm glad I was able to help you a little last night..will keep up with the plans for the trip then. *Is getting VERY excited*
Hope you are feeling better and can not wait to meet your new rat!!
Will try to catch you Friday night...will be on a bit later as I am going with Jeanine and Jackie for dinner and the movie "Ella Enchanted" for Jackie's 12th birthday...
*HUGS*
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Date: 2004-04-07 10:54 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-04-09 01:46 am (UTC)WAML,
Missy
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Date: 2004-04-09 12:25 pm (UTC)