whiski_sour | And, I've got dimples on my butt

Internet still hasn't fixed itself. It's still only working when it wants to. Blah. Bastard.

Wednesday I'm taking my nieces to see my grandpa for his birthday. Saturday, I'm babysitting Hammie. And, sometime this week, I think we're ripping out carpet in my room. Should be a real good time.

Earlier today I was watching a cooking show with Dad. The lady on the tv was cooking roast duck...

Lady picks up a duck by sticking a fork in the cavity.

Dad: Get that fork out of that duck's ass! You perverted lady! What did you do today? Oh, I stuck a fork up a duck's ass. Didn't you have any gerbils? No, Ian McKellen had them all. I don't know what he did with them.
Me: *facepalmdies* I cannot believe you just fucking said that.
Dad: What? It's not like I was the one sticking a fork up a duck's ass!

And, if that wasn't bad enough, towards the end of the show I came into the kitchen to try and get the internet to work again while Dad was getting ready for training in the living room, watching the cooking show...

Dad: She's got that fork up that duck's ass again!
Me: Dad, maybe you should start a movement to protect ducks from molestation.
Dad: I should. That poor duck. She was lifting him out of the pan and I don't think he wanted to go. Sounded like she had to rip him off of there because he was clinging to it.
Me: That's really not appetizing, Dad.

For everyone who questions my sanity, you have to understand...I was raised to think that being nuts was normal.

I'm going to the mall tomorrow to get a gift for my grandpa. Dad is staying home. I really can't take much more about the plight of molested ducks without having my sinuses caving in from snorting so hard.