It's not easy killing people...even fictionally

Revising has never been easy for me. It's not that I think my work is genius as soon as it hits the paper; it's just that I'm lazy and revising can be hard, especially when I realize that basically the very core of the story needs to be changed.

This is the trouble I've run into on the latest story I'm working on. I actually wrote it last year, thought it wasn't bad, and sent it off to a contest. It lost. I reread it a few weeks ago and went, "What the fuck was I thinking?! This is shit!" It wasn't long before I was making notes and reworking everything.

It's been a few weeks and I'm still working on it because I just can't get my head and my pen to cooperate. I've gotten through what I think has been the hardest part. It's not perfect, just bare bones scratching on paper, but I can work with it. And I know how it ends, I just need to end it.

Then I type it up, print it out, let it sit, and do it all again. Rinse and repeat until I'm satisfied.

It's all in the nature of writing. It's a natural process. I just wish I was better and faster at it.