And my fears become reality

I was worried that when I quit smoking that I would gain weight. That tends to happen when smokers quit. And since this summer I was struggling with my exercise program due to various injuries and whatnot, I knew it was definitely a possibility.

A possibility that was confirmed today.

We can't trust the bathroom scale because it's not sure if it's on Earth, Jupiter, or the moon. Your weight can fluctuate thirty pounds in ten minutes depending on where in the house the scale is and the time of day. So I go by how my clothes fit and just by that, I knew I'd gained some weight, but I didn't think it was too much. Nothing I couldn't get rid of as soon as I got my exercise schedule back on track and amped it up a little.

Yeah, no.

I went to put on a pair of pants today that I haven't worn since last winter. When I wore them last winter, they were pretty loose. I could take them off without unbuttoning them and I was always hiking them up.

Today, when I went to put on these same pants that were six months ago falling off my ass, I could hardly get them on. In fact, I only got them on for the grace of a God that loves sight gags.

It's just very disheartening knowing how hard I worked for how long I worked to get to the point I was and then realizing that I just kicked my own ass so far back in only a few months.

It's going to take a lot of work just to get back to where I was, but I'm willing to do it. I refuse to go back to where I was and I'm just pigheaded enough to make sure I don't.

But for today, I wallow in self-pity and eat Halloween candy. I'll go back on yogurt tomorrow.