whiski_sour: (Ooh! Shiny!)
Went to the movies with Carrie last night. After playing skee ball (and being sore today for it), we sat down and enjoyed The Woman in Black.

Let's just call it spoilers to be safe. )

I do not recommend watching two episodes of MST3K before seeing the movie, though. There were a couple of times that I had to clamp my hand over my mouth because Servo and Crow were riffing in my head.

There were more people in the theater than we thought would be there, but they were a good audience, jumping and screaming and tittering and giggling. The girl behind us kept saying "I'm going to die, I'm doing to die". Carrie swears she peed herself a couple of times.

Can't ask for better than that.

Cubs Con

Jan. 17th, 2012 07:43 pm
whiski_sour: (Cubs)
The highlights of my birthday weekend trip to Chicago with [livejournal.com profile] luchalibrarian are on my blog. In short, I had a fantastic time and I'm looking forward to doing it again next year.

Pictures from the trip will be up on the blog Friday.

If this is how I can celebrate getting older every year, then I can dig it. For sure.
whiski_sour: (the horror!)
Having a rough day? Here. Relax your brain by trying to unsee this.

You know you want to.

I bet you can't.
whiski_sour: (not the boss of me)
Carrie and I went to see The Three Muskateers last night. I think this might be the first movie I've seen in the theater this year. I can't remember seeing anything else.

Because we didn't do anything for her birthday, I promised her that I'd go see a movie with her (something I rarely do) provided that it wasn't of the Twilight variety. She agreed and soon the trailer appeared online for Muskateers and that became her film of choice. I agreed because the trailer she showed me involved Ray Stevenson twiddling his mustache and nothing says, "I'll pay six bucks to see that" for me like mustache twiddling.

I wasn't being sarcastic.

Last night was the first Thursday that the two of us had available to go (we hit the matinee shows on Thursdays because the tickets are 6 bucks and Thursday is bring your own bucket for free popcorn day) and it was also the last day the Eagle was showing it, so it was great timing on our part.

There were only three of us in the whole theater. And the other lady that watched the film sat far enough behind us that she wasn't forced to listen to us do our version of MST3K during the film.

To be honest, the movie wasn't bad if you like bad things (I love bad things). Yes, some of the dialogue was physically painful and the slow motion during the actions scenes was a little annoying and no one brushed D'Artagnan's hair for the duration of the film and there was no real rule for accents, but despite its flaws it was fun. The Muskateers together and Porthos alone had some witty dialogue, the actions scenes for the most part were well done, and Orlando Bloom continues his role in life as Captain Obvious but with the added bonus of making expressions with his face. That all pretty much makes up for it.

If you went to the movie to see some historically accurate, enlightened and faithful rendering of The Three Muskateers, no doubt you would have been seriously disappointed (but, really, the 3-D aspect should have clued you in before you even bought the ticket, so I'm not feeling that sorry for you). D'Artagnan spends most of the movie sporting a 17th century Member's Only jacket. I rest my case.

Speaking of the 3-D, I don't know how anyone could watch that movie that way. It seems like an invitation into motion sickness and vomiting into the popcorn buckets. And I did not bring my bucket for that.

Rumors of the closing credits song being terrible are true. Carrie and I sat through the entire thing and the rest of the credits to find out who was responsible. And then it was decided that the only way the song could have been worse was if Nickelback had done it.

This movie isn't going to end up on my favorites list, but I will admit, it will be one that I watch every time it comes on TV.

The mute button will come in handy.

It's also worth noting that we saw trailers for the latest Spielberg tearjerker; some sci-fi movie with electricity sucking aliens that would have been better done in the 40's with Lon Chaney Jr. as the hero; Sherlock Holmes (MUST SEE!); and Breaking Dawn, which Carrie immediately apologized for. As well she should.
whiski_sour: (Can you stand on your head?)
The neighbor let her dogs out. She's got a yorkie/chiuahua mix and a pug-mix. The pug-mix, Rocky, went about his business. The yorkie-mix, Cockroach (okay, his name is Scruffy, but we call him the cockroach), decided two minutes after being let out that he wanted back in. I then had five minutes of entertainment.

He went over to the screen door and jumped on it, banging it.

Then he stopped and waited.

Then he walked away so he could look in to see if anyone was coming.

Nope.

He banged the screen door again.

Waited.

Walked away and checked.

Nope.

Banged it.

Waited.

Got distracted by Rocky.

Decided he indeed needed to potty and took a three legged dump. Then he went to another spot in the yard and kicked dirt in the opposite direction.

Then he remembered he wanted to go in.

He ran back to the door, banged it, and barked.

The neighbor came up behind him (walking another dog I've never seen) and asked him if he wanted to go in, which scared the shit out of him. But he did finally get to go in.

And, I did running commentary and giggled the entire time. It was a nice way to unwind after work.
whiski_sour: (this just in)
-I watched Thundercats this morning. Awesome.

-Yesterday was the jinx of all days. Nothing went right, including a flat tire on the way to corporate for a meeting and me getting a sunburn in a weird spot on the ride up.

-I got hustled at Memory by a six year old today.

-Because of YouTube surfing with my nieces, this is my new favorite thing.

-I also spent some time watching Weird Al videos. The man will always be a genius to me.

-Worst part about this heat wave? It's been too hot for me to use my hula hoop.
whiski_sour: (Better with Teddy)
Not to be confused with baseball porn, though the way I drool over a particular player, it's kind of like that.

If you'd like to look at some pictures and read a few highlights from the roadtrip to KC, you can do so here and here.

In short, we had a blast. The drive featured a lot of billboards (there is so many boots and adult shops in Missouri along I-70), we stayed in a ghettofabulous hotel (condoms in the vending machine), ate some awesome barbecue (Gates FTW), baked in our fantastic seats at the game (right over the Cubs bullpen), ate a lot of breakfast (thank you, Denny's and Cracker Barrel), and ended up talking about taking another roadtrip before this one was done.

Last weekend, after a TMI conversation, Haley and I ended up taking Carrie to an adult shop because she'd never been to one. I don't know how that's possible considering I've been to several in two states. Not sure if I should brag about that, but I will. It was a giggly good time followed up by milkshakes at Steak n Shake. As you do.

Last night, Haley and her husband Matt took me to my first Cornbelters game. We had front row seats just to the left of home plate and stayed for the fireworks show afterward (which we got to go on the field for). It was awesome sitting so close and it's fantastic to have baseball basically in my own backyard (30 minute drive). I'm just sorry I waited this long to go to a game. I ended up buying a t-shirt to wear to Sunday night's game. I plan on getting a hat then.

(And Haley and I will probably rate walk-up music again. Mike Mobbs had the best, "Smells Like Teen Spirit", but we doubt he's old enough to have it.)

It's also free baseball night/Sunday Autograph night. We're going early to get the baseball and staying late to get the autographs.

I wonder if I can get the players to sign their names and their phone numbers.
whiski_sour: (up to no good)
Yesterday, Marvin prank called me. He acted like he was a customer wanting to know where his delivery was. He sounded like Bobcat Goldthwait.

This is the same driver that called me up and told me it was an obscene phone call and proceeded to say the word "obscene" several times before realizing he was suppposed to add in some heavy breathing.

Phone calls from Marvin are never boring.
whiski_sour: (Busted!)
I ended up having dinner and a bit of a girl's night with Carrie, Haley, and Andi. We went to El Rey's, ate well, discussed my future as a porn star, took pictures, discussed the merits of our waiter, spoke Spanish, and in general, had a fab time.

We then took the party back to my house.

Well, part of the party. Haley had to run out to her Dad's house to get her son's bowling shirt and ended up having to pause for a poo while she was there. She then texted Andi a picture of herself on the john (with her step-mom's dog on her lap). Andi then posted it to Facebook. And then there was a long and involved discussion about bowel movements and passing gas.

We are classy, classy people.

Then Haley and Andi filled us in on a bunch of gossip about life in our small town. It's like Jerry Springer, only fewer strippers.

Speaking of strippers, Haley also recounted the story of going to a friend's bachelorette party. Yeah, they had a stripper. It was our town stripper, actually. As in, we see him all over town fully clothed. I guess when he left the party, he really did say, "See you around!" and he meant it. Yeah, that's not awkward at all.

We had a great time tonight. I guess we'll be doing it again next Friday at Haley's.

It was a good way to start off the month.
whiski_sour: (Dempster Laugh)
My aunts and one of my cousins were at my grandma's this past weekend for a visit, so I went down on Saturday to hang out. It ended up being my grandma and grandpa, Aunt T, Aunt Kerri, her boyfriend Joe, Uncle John, my 17 year old cousins Dany and Alex (both girls), and family friends Matt, Bear, and Rob.

I'm rusty at having fun, at least with those people.

They started drinking at 10 in the morning I know, and were still going strong at 12:30 when the beer ran out. And there was a lot of beer. I know at least three cases. I didn't drink. I prefer to have my wits about me with those people. They are funny and fast and if you don't keep up, you get run over.

It's loud. It's not uncommon if two or three (or more) people are talking at once. You just pick who you want to listen and respond to. The laughing is louder than the talking. According to Dany, we all cackle, but mine is the loudest. If only she knew my reputation at Walmart.

I was the outnumbered Cubs fan in a room full of Cardinal fans, but there's now talk of getting together to see a Cubs/Cards game. I would love to take this show on the road and in public. We'd be free entertainment. Or a police incident waiting to happen. Either way, good time.

I didn't get home until 2 in the morning. And here I am, over 30, and my Aunt T is still requesting that I text her when I get home so she knows I made it safe. It was adorable and you know that I did it.

They're all crazy, but I love them.

I really don't spend enough time with that side of the family. I think the last time I saw my Aunt Kerri, she was still married to Uncle Robby. And she's been with Joe for about six years now, so it's safe to say it's been awhile. I need to do better with that.

It was good to cut loose and have a good time. I was long overdue for that kind of release.

But I meant what I said about being rusty when it comes to having fun. I need to get into better shape.
whiski_sour: (Dempster Laugh)
Albert: *leaving a message for his kids* Hello. I need someone to call me back. Bye. *hangs up*
Chad: *dials Albert's extension*
Albert: This is Albert.
Chad: I'm calling you back.
Albert: Not you! *hangs up*
Chad and I: *die laughing*

Cubicles. They make pranking easy.
whiski_sour: (seems inapproriate)
It got into the 60's today which was fantastic. The snow is melting big time which is also fantastic.

Except lots of melting snow means lots of lakes and ponds and rivers. I had the pleasure of driving through a nice sized lake in the parking lot at work. There's also a river running through it. Checking trailers today required some fancy footwork in order to not sink in the mud. Good times.

There are also some nice potholes. In the parking lot at the Plaza (McDonalds, Walmart, CVS, China Wok, doctor's office, and an atm), I was forced to drive through one large pothole filled with water. Only when I was driving through it did I realize how deep it was. Damn thing nearly swallowed my car.

Albert has the day off tomorrow. See at this place, you can take your birthday off. With pay. And if your birthday is in the middle of the week and you'd rather have a three day weekend, that can be arranged. Albert's birthday was Tuesday, but he's taking tomorrow off. So Chad will have me doing orders with his guidance. I'm looking forward to it. I like this job. I want to learn more about it.

Some conversation from the cubes today:

Kent, the order coordinator, was having a rough day.
Kent: Fuck!
Albert: No thanks.

Discussing the drinking Albert plans to do this weekend.
Albert: You're making me sound like an alcoholic.
Kent: That's because I always thought we were a lot alike.

Albert on the phone informing one of our drivers that he was randomly selected for a drug test.
Albert: Guess what! Your name was drawn out of a hat. You get to pee in a bottle!

To me this is all funnier because you can't see anybody. You just hear the voices.
whiski_sour: (Groove)
Yesterday, I went to lunch with the ladies in the metal office. Between them and me (the lone girl in the transport company office), there are six of us. I've never worked at a place where the women were so outnumbered.

We went to a local tea house which is in an actual Victorian house. It's quite fancy. Even though I was in my good clothes, I felt terribly under dressed. I also felt like I didn't have the manners or breeding to be there, either. The food was good, though. And they have the neatest gift shop upstairs. I had a good time.

Fridays are fun because the drivers are all ending their trips for the weekend, so we've got a flow extra guys in the office. We have a driver named Stephen. It's always sunny in Stephen's world. Stephen is going to Mexico for vacation, the lucky bastard. Despite the thousands of miles he's logged on the road, he hasn't flown since 1987.

So he was asking us about security and whatnot. Several questions had to do with checked luggage and bomb sniffing dogs.

The whole time I'm thinking, "What are you putting in your luggage, Stephen?"

With Stephen, it's hard to tell. He probably wants to take his guitar with him. Or his unicycle. Or both.

Not kidding. He has both.

Albert leaves at four. Today, Chad left at four, too, leaving me to hold down the fort for half an hour. All was going smoothly until about five minutes before I was supposed to leave. One of our drivers, Marvin, called me. Albert had forgot to dispatch his next trip and he asked me if I could do it.

I'd never done it before (I'd been shown once), so I figured I'd give it a go. I found his trip, went to dispatch it, and it said that his current trip wasn't finished. Marvin told me that Albert dispatched new trips like that all the time, but since I hadn't done it before, I wasn't sure.

Marvin was nice about it. He offered to call Albert, tell him off for slacking, and have him call me and make sure I got it right. I hung up and told Ken that I was on overtime now. Kent laughed.

(Side note: it's very odd having conversations with all of those cubicles because it's all just disembodied voices. I'm still getting used to it.)

Albert called a minute later and assured me that it was okay to dispatch a trip that way. It was just a warning. So I did. Then he told me to check the dispatch. Apparently, it worked. I took a few extra minutes to wrap things up, but no one called back. I imagine I'll be getting some shit from Albert for it. Good natured shit, but shit nonetheless.

It'll be good times.
whiski_sour: (wtf?)
Albert got a call from one of our drivers today. Apparently, he'd just passed some cops that had an older woman pulled over on an entrance ramp.

She trying to get on the interstate on her scooter. I'm talking Rascal, not Moped.

I'm guessing that these are the kinds of stories I can expect to hear at work.

I don't know how anyoen can top this one, but I'm sure they will.
whiski_sour: (shoot to kill)
A short little ditty I forgot to mention yesterday...

I typically take the country roads to Papa's house, but since it snowed, I felt the Interstate would be safer and clearer.

Well, it wasn't safer for everyone.

About half-way there, traffic filtered into the left lane due to flashing lights on the shoulder and everyone slowed down (probably more to get a good look than for the cop). Someone had a little fender bender and two people were standing at the cop's car, talking into the window.

That's how I'd do it. Colder than a well digger's ass with the windchill hitting arctic numbers, I'd sit in my car, too. I didn't wreck my car. Why should I have to get out in the cold?

That's probably not what was happening, but it'd have been a whole lot cooler if it was going down that way.
whiski_sour: (Dempster Laugh)
Since Papa was unable to come up for my birthday, I went down to visit him today. He's doing pretty well.

Last year before Christmas, he bought himself a Kindle. He's probably got 150 books on it now and he reads about two books a day. He likes just about any genre, but he's taken to reading anything free. This includes romance novels and romantic thrillers.

Papa swears that all of the characters are alike, the descriptions are similar, the plots are similar, only the names change. Oh, and if it ain't about a vampire, it's about a cowboy.

Anyway, he was telling me about one of the cowboy books he'd read by this author that apparently wrote a whole series about every member of some family in Montana. The cowboy in this book looked like the cowboys in other books, blonde, tall, broad shoulders, tight jeans. It was the tight jeans that got him. During his synopsis of this book, any time he referred to the cowboy he'd be sure to add tight jeans.

I cannot communicate the absolute hilarity of a 76 year old man sitting in a wheel chair, wearing a Mr. Roger's sweater, his hair back in a ponytail and his beard down his chest, wearing a navy baseball cap for some company I've never heard of, with a smirk on his face and in his voice saying, "Tight jeans" in reference to a character whose name he couldn't even remember. I laughed so hard, I thought I was going to break the chair I was sitting in. It was fantastic.

That Kindle is turning out to be worth every penny he spent on it. And thensome, if you factor in the comedy.

For the record, Papa has always been at the forefront of computer technology and whatnot. He ran a computer club for years. He's the reason why I ended up with a computer when I was eight and learned to surf the web when it was in its infancy. With his love of reading and technology, it's no shock that he got a Kindle. It's funny to think about how technologically advanced my grandpa is when his son just recently got the hang of e-mail because he's so resistent to it.
whiski_sour: (Groove)
Today was Hobbit's 7th birthday, so Carrie and I headed up north to celebrate with the girls. We had McDonald's and cupcakes. Hobbit got a new outfit, a new purse, a snowglobe, and Just Dance for Wii.

Naturally, we had to play Just Dance. Carrie wasn't feeling well, so she sat out. (Smurf was very concerned for Carrie's health; she told her to get lots of rest, drink water and orange juice, and keep a bucket next to her bed in case she threw up.) The girls were good. They shook their groove things. Mom did a challenge while sitting on the couch and won. It was hilarious. I had no trouble getting up and making an ass out of myself. I did pretty well. I'd say the girls get their moves from their Aunt Kiki.

Then we played Guitar Hero. I rocked "Walkin' on Sunshine" and "Honky Tonk Women". Smurf does really well on the easy setting because she just makes noises into the mic constantly and ends up with 100%. Hobbit really kicks it with the guitar.

Between playing guitar and dancing, I'm going to be hurting tomorrow.

It was a good birthday for Hobbit, I think. At least she was sweaty and smiling when we left.

That Just Dance is a great game.
whiski_sour: (gibbs smile)
I had to go out today to do an errand that I've been putting off because I just couldn't put it off any longer. And, of course, it had to been when the high temperature was 17 degrees. That's what you get for procrastinating.

But, it wasn't too bad. By the time I got home, I was good with getting out of the car without my gloves.

It's weather like this that really brings out the personalities of the people in my town.

Leaving Walmart, I saw a lady bundled up, waddling across the parking lot. For the most part, her coat and hat and gloves matched (red and tan), but she was wearing a lime green scarf. Best part about it? It was wrapped around her neck at least twice and still reached her knees. It was like a knitted anaconda trying to bring her down. It was fantastic.

And then I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt and no coat walking across the parking lot. Clearly, what's chilly to some is balmy to others.
whiski_sour: (Happy Thanksgiving)
Full house at my Aunt Jo's for Thanksgiving today. Aside from the usual crowd of me, Carrie, Dad, Aunt Jo, Nancy, Jake, and Papa, we also had Aunt Ruby, Uncle Harry, and cousin Chuck.

We watched the replay of a Cubs game from July and part of a replay White Sox game before we flipped over to the football.

The spread of food was fantastic and massive. We got a lot of leftovers to bring home, including a whole gooseberry pie. Uncle Harry and Chuck impressed Carrie by the amount of food they put away. We are a good eating family. It's just how we roll. Sideways, on the floor by the time it's all said and done.

After Carrie took Jake's phone and texted back and forth with a couple of his friends and I got off the phone with my sister, the table was cleared and the cards were brought out. Carrie, Aunt Jo, Jake, and I played several hands of Spit, as is our tradition. Aunt Ruby and Chuck both said that the game goes too fast for them. Papa agreed and said it he didn't like to play because we never let him have a turn.

Speaking of Papa, he was in good spirits today. Ate more than I've seen him eat in a while. He has a new dog since Sam died a few weeks ago. Her name is Emma and she's a real sweetie. He bought himself a Kindle. No, don't wait and let someone get it for you for Christmas or anything. Silly, Papa. At least we know that Amazon gift cards would be a good gift for him.

We stayed later than we usually do, but it was a good time.

I'm thankful for my family. They drive me crazy sometimes, but they're good people.

I'm thankful for my friends, too. You guys are rock 'n' roll 365 days a year and I appreciate you, even if I don't say it enough.

Other things I'm thankful for: my cats, our service men and women, anyone that had to work today, the Cubs, the Bears, laughter, having a roof over my head, having a car to drive, Twitter, my superpet Roscoe on Facebook, Halloween (movie and holiday), the Beard Twins, NaNoWriMo, Spit, sleeping, etc., etc., etc.

Speaking of sleeping, I plan on doing it well tonight. Good luck to anyone shopping (or working retail) tomorrow.

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