whiski_sour: (judging you)
A guy I went to school with died on Thursday. They found him dead in his apartment, apparent natural causes, possibly a heart attack. He was 34.

Wade was a good guy for the most part. Funny, sociable, one of those good Christian types, and everyone that knew him has been saying very nice things about him on Facebook.

Well, here's the thing. I liked Wade well enough, too, except...Wade didn't like cats. Good Christian Wade would even make jokes about bad things happening to cats. Wade thought it was very funny should bad things happen to cats. So while all of these people are saying what a great guy Wade was, I'm thinking, "Yeah, but he fucking hated cats."

I hope that when Wade got to his Heaven and met his God, his God looked at him and said, "You're a good dude, Wade. Except you hated cats. What the fuck man? Wishing death upon one of my creatures in such a hateful way is not cool. You're on litter box duty until the end of time. Dick."

Seriously. Don't be spouting Jesus-y shit all over your Facebook and then think it'd be really neat if a cat didn't make it across a highway. That is NOT what your Jesus would do.

For fuck's sake, Jesus hung out with lepers and they shed worse than cats.

The reason why I didn't say anything to Wade when he was living was a)he had a lot of good Christian friends that felt the same way and I didn't feel like dealing with the mob action and b) they've yet to invent that device that let's you bust somebody upside the head via Internet.
whiski_sour: (fucked your shit up)
A week from Wednesday (on his birthday), Dad is having surgery to remove some tumors from his bladder. This would be why he's been having so much trouble peeing lately. With the tumors removed, his peeing problems should abate and I will no longer have to listen to him bitch about it.

This is outpatient surgery provided there are no complications. We won't know for sure if the tumors are malignant until after they're tested after the surgery, but Dad has been researching things on the Internet (because every doctor is fucking dumbass according to him) and he's convinced it's cancer because bladder tumors usually are, so he's been spreading doom and gloom through the house. I'd like to think that he's been logical and explaining every possible scenario, but really he's just assuming the worst and being a harbinger of doom.

I'm sure he's upset and worried and nervous and scared and had he and my mother not beaten the sympathy out of me because they felt my sensitivity was sign of weakness, then maybe I could be more emotionally supportive. Unfortunately, you reap what you sow and instead he gets a wise-cracking smartass trying to figure out what I'm going to do while he's in surgery and how I'm going to deal with him post-op because, as stated, I'm not the good, caring daughter he was hoping to take care of him.

Make no mistake, I love my dad. I hope he comes through the surgery well and I hope it's not cancer and if it is cancer, it's treated and he recovers fully. And I want him to be able to pee normally again.

Because, dear laws, I am sick of the whining.

That's going to be the true test of his recovery. Whether or not I kill him.
whiski_sour: (one of those days)
Today was shit. The morning was one aggravation after another and just as things start to smooth out in the afternoon, new shit crops up that will have to be dealt with next week. Awesome.

And then the Cubs got spanked hard by the Dodgers. More awesome.

All of this required peanutbutter eggs. Right Stat Now.

Carrie and I were discussing my day after I got off of work. I'm pretty convinced that there's no way I can last at this job. I'm not nice enough. I'm not talking about being nice to the customers. I'm just talking about nice in general. To me, some of the people I work with (mostly at corporate) are lobotomy, stepford nice. Carrie told me that's actually normal and they're not being weird. I've just been socialized poorly and Walmart sucked out my soul, so it just seems weird to me.

I'm taking her word for it.

Overly nice people cause me concern.
whiski_sour: (bigger gun)
I've been sporadically applying for jobs as they appear, either online or sending in resumes.

Of the ones online, they usually have some assessment portion that includes "what would you do" multiple choice questions. Sadly "roll eyes", "get snarky", and "smack a bitch" are never answers.

And, of course, they have to have those strongly agree to strongly disagree scales which are just not grand enough to fully encapsulate my full range of agreeability. Also, some of the questions they ask do not lend well to agreeability and I find that questionable.

Tonight, as I uploaded my resume and then retyped my job history, as so many of these places have you do (and half of the time fill out another application if you go in for an interview just to make sure your story holds up), I wondered if my problem with getting an interview is that my prospective employers look at my extensive employement history with WalMart like one views the rap sheet of a career felon. And not just a run of the mill felon either. We're talking Sing Sing, Alcatraz, Marion Super Max felon.

Boss 1: She have any retail experience?
Boss 2: WalMart.
Both cringe.
Boss 1: How much time?
Boss 2: 3 times. Last stint was 2 and a half years.
Boss 1: How long has she been out?
Boss 2: Almost 3 years?
Boss 1: Not long enough.
Boss 2: *throws away application*

I'm just lucky the WalMart lifers didn't get together and tattoo "Rollback" on my ass, I suppose.
whiski_sour: (Cocktail?)
Facebook has just been full of the gossip lately, mostly of the relationship variety.

First up we have one girl who, after weeks and weeks of how much she loved her husbad, shocked people when she changed her status to separated. Then last week it went from separated to single to in a relationship bascially in one day. The guy she's in a relationship with? Is, last I knew, technically still married.

Why do I know that?

Because he's married to another friend. They're separated, but he insists that he doesn't want a divorce, he just wants a break. And so far this break has included someone else living with him and yet another friend! Who angsted over her relationship with him (didn't name his name, but those of us in the know knew who she was talking about) on Facebook.

This fiasco has been a slow-mo trainwreck that started earlier this summer and so far, I've enjoyed my front row lawn chair to it.

So as this scandal is winding down, a new one pops up. Suddenly another friend changes her status from married to single. And then proceeds to call out the girl who slept with her husband on Facebook. First of all, I didn't know said slut was still in town. Secondly, I probably laughed way too hard at that call out post, mostly because she said she was glad the cheating happened after the last time she'd been with her husband because she didn't have to worry about catching anything.

Unfortunately, she deleted it later. I'm glad I saw it though. Good times.

It's Peyton's Place out here in the cornfield.
whiski_sour: (Busted!)
Between the teenager that follows me on Twitter and my teenage cousins on Facebook, I realize that I just don't care for prolonged exposure to teenagers.

And then I remember that I was a teenager once and I wonder, in slight horror, if I was that annoying when I was that age.

Then I remember that my parents were acting like teenagers about that time, too, so it really wouldn't have matter if I did and I don't owe my parents an apology.

Crisis averted.

Thank goodness.
whiski_sour: (smokin')
I'm depressed. I admit it. It's not an earth-shattering depression. It's nothing like when I went crazy...what?...10 years ago now? Yeah, that's about right.

The thing about me being depressed is that I get vicious. Does that happen to anyone else? I know other people on my flist have dealt with depression. Is this a common thing or am I suffering from a unique snowflake complication?

I have enough trouble being nice as it is because I have no tact gene and I've got a spiteful streak like you wouldn't believe. But, when I'm depressed, I have absolutely no patience for anyone. I have no tolerance for anyone. And I find myself biting my tongue and using my backspace a lot more often because the urge to verbally eviscerate someone is overwhelmingly strong. I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm unhappy, and now you're running your mouth. I'm going to make you bleed.

The longer I go on like this, the worse I get. I know all of the logistics of it, but there's something evil inside of me that just wants to open my mouth and let it fly, consequences be damned. I feel a deliciously wicked cackle bubbling in my throat, itching to come out.

Freud said that depression is anger turned inward. Well, I had it drilled into my head not to be selfish, so rather than keep that anger all to myself, I want to share it.

Basically, I want to cut a bitch.

Knowing me as well as I do, I probably will before all is said and done and I get back on the healthy mental path.

And as someone who stopped hiding their bad qualities and who has been told that my redeeming qualities are few and far between, I probably won't feel one bit bad about it either.

I'm not bragging. Just telling the truth.
whiski_sour: (skeletor)
In regards to the recent snowy weather, the state police say people should "slow down and use common sense".

Excuse me a moment.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What are you? New? Drivers in Illinois don't have any common sense. And the only time they slow down is when it's completely unnecessary.

I thought that was one of the rules they first taught you guys when you were rookies.

Enjoy filling out all of those accident reports, guys.
whiski_sour: (Oh noes)
Remember yesterday how I said that it'd been snowing all day and we'd gotten a good bit of it?

Well, it snowed last night and today, too.

My car this afternoon.

And this was after Carrie had cleaned two inches of snow off of it last night.

Yeah, I had to use a pushbroom.

I realize that other places (like in Texas and Oklahoma, wtf?) probably got more snow than we did, but this is definitely the first significant snowfall of the year. It deserved to be noted.

Especially since someone down the block got stuck. While I was out cleaning off my car I heard them yelling, "Push! No, push now!"

I laughed at their pain.

'Cause I'm a bad person like that. Duh.
whiski_sour: (seems inapproriate)
It's well established that my reading comprehension fail makes my life more interesting. There are times, though, when I actually get all of the words right, but for whatever reason, my brain chooses to interpret them oddly.

Today I read the headline, "Woman's Body Found After 12 Years". My first thought was...how did they lose her body? That should be one of the those things that stay in the last place that you put it. It's not like it would roll under the couch or the cat would hide it or something.

Then my brain kicked in and I realized it wasn't going to be a fun story about misplaced corpses so I didn't read the article.

Yeah, I'm kind of a bad person.
whiski_sour: (*eyeroll*)
I've been watching questionable SyFy movies all afternoon. My favorite, Earthstorm, just ended. However, the movie before that seriously disappointed me.

Keep in mind that I typically watch SyFy movies without the sound on (Earthstorm is the exception...I have heard those people speak and now what the movie is actually about) because I feel that knowing what's going on and listening to dialogue won't improve the my viewing experience any.

Well, this movie, I think it was called Solar Storm, was about the sun trying to kill people by making it incredibly hot and cars would explode because they'd get too overheated and whatnot and conditions were generally unpleasant. That's the gist I got from it, anyway.

Unfortunately, the sun did not kill enough people as far as I was concerned. When I can tell without sound that your character is annoying, useless, and an unrepentant bitch, then your character should die before the end of the film. She did not.

Actually, there was only one character I thought should have lived at the end (which he did) and at one point, he went on a rant and accosted a dead man. Now, if I like a guy that beats up a corpse better than I like you, I think you should rethink your character development.

That's my biggest complaint about this movie. Too many people lived at the end and I didn't think they deserved to.

Also, I don't know who cast this movie, but they apparently got to a point where they gave up trying because neither of the "teenage" girl's parents looked old enough to have a teenager and the "teenager" actually looked older than her mom.

I hate it when the epic fail of a SyFy movie isn't enjoyable.

At least Earthstorm had a Baldwin.
whiski_sour: (bitch-fu)
NCIS season finale )

In other cranky pants news...I've had technical diffulties with my laptop all day today and that did nothing to improve my already testy mood.

I'm resetting my sleep clock and I spent all night fighting bad guys in my dreams, so my fuse is rather short.

My laptop nearly went through the nearest wall.

So far, everything remains intact.

We'll see how long that lasts.
whiski_sour: (milkshake)
It's Maydays this weekend. Actually, it started Thursday night, but Carrie and I walked up today. I only go to Maydays for one reason: lemon shake-ups.

We ended up eating up there, too, cheese stix and gyros. We sat on the wall and listened to some band play.

They were...out of their league with some of the songs they chose to play, to put it nicely.

They made "Wicked Game" so unsexy that I fear my libido may be permanently damaged.

We threw scorn at them.

Unfortunately, since I live only a few blocks away from the square, I can still hear them. It's like the mediocrity followed me home.

For whatever reason, this whole ordeal has made me sleepy.

I think that band sucked out some of my awesome.

I don't know what they did with it, though. They certainly didn't use it.
whiski_sour: (jedi)
I love Chocolate Turtle Chex Mix. Except for the candy pieces. I'm not big on those. So when I start getting low in the bag, I start shifting them out.

Carrie just told me I look like a squirrel rifling through all of the good bits to pick out the candies, which I gave to her.

Now she's offended because she ate a few and realized that chocolate candies aren't that good.

I'm getting a lot "Oh, I see how you are. I see how I rank. You give me the cheap chocolate and you keep the good stuff."

She has no bitch. She does the shopping. She should have gotten her own bag.
whiski_sour: (shoot)
Hey, you, people with those auto-dialers and recorded messages that tell me this is my final notice about car warrenties (even though you call me once a week) and great deals on shit I don't want. You hearing me?

Turn that shit off on the weekends!

Yanking me out of a dream (even it is just a shark in the bathtub curled up like a cat so cute) to answer the phone does not make me want to obtain the wares you are hocking. It makes me want to get your home phone number and call you at 3 in the morning to chat about carpet cleaners and aluminium siding.

Worse, it puts the people I live with at great risk, as well as anyone who walks into the house, because I am both groggy and grumpy for the rest of the day. It's no way to exist.

And neither is going through life with a phone crudely stitched to your face and wired to explode so you can't take it off.

Get me?

Good.
whiski_sour: (perturbed)
Hey, weather. Don't exactly care for you screwing with my plans. You're kinda pissing me off here. Have you seen the way people drive around here? They can't wing it when it's not icy. I have no desire to skate around with these people if you decide to unleash the freezing rain tomorrow afternoon when I'm coming home from my mom's house.

You're fucking up my intentions for my niece's birthday.

Keep it up and I will cut you.

Also, it's too cold. It makes my face hurt when the wind blows.
whiski_sour: (naughty)
Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] luchalibrarian for the holiday card. My own sparkly snowman! Yay!

In other news, I chat with [livejournal.com profile] one_more_cherry every Saturday night. I am pleased to say that I managed to get her to choke on her own spit laughing at an old inside joke. That's good stuff.

Oh, sure. You may say it's cruel to be pleased with my friend gasping for air, but she was the one who horrified me with the idea of Mork and Mindy porn, okay? I call fair play!
whiski_sour: (shoot to kill)
Carrie went Christmas shopping today. I'll consider going in the next week or so. I hate Christmas shopping. I try to do as much of it as I can from the comfort of my desk. But some things I must leave the house for.

It doesn't help that I have no idea what I'm getting anyone except my dad. I've got an idea of what to get the girls. Mom and the stepdad, not so sure.

And Carrie will get nothing for me if she doesn't stop buying stuff for herself. I told her that if I bought her a present and she ended up buying it before Christmas, I would punch her in the face and take it back and there would be no present for her.

Yeah. I'm kind of a Grinch in a way.
whiski_sour: (darkside)
We've been very lax with our Halloween candy buying this year. By now we should have gone through a couple of bags of it. We just got the good stuff today. Oh well, it's probably for the best, weight-wise anway.

What's not for the best? Last year's Halloween candy still stuck to the cloth lining of the basket by the front door. We probably should have thrown it out BEFORE we had that 90 degree weather, but oh well. Hindsight is not so sticky.

So, the candy is out (every parent is going to hate us because we've got so much Super Bubble to give out). The costumes are coming together. I just need to make a few more minor adjustments to mine sometime this week.

What am I going to be?

Well, after coming up with, plotting, and finalizing a costume, I decided it was lame and went to brainstorming on something else. I finally came up with something that I liked and actually put it together yesterday.

What is it?

It's a surprise.

Because not knowing tortures Carrie.

And that pleases me.

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Cheshyre

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